


A Friend in Need

by Mokakenobi



Series: Getting to Know You [4]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: F/M, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:40:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29040249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mokakenobi/pseuds/Mokakenobi
Summary: This is the fourth part in my Jack/Ten series "Getting to Know You". It takes place after The Satan Pit. Rose finally makes an appearance, and Jack is faced with a Doctor who needs his help.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor & Jack Harkness
Series: Getting to Know You [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127624
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**A Friend in Need**

**Chapter 1**

Jack Harkness looked up with a smile when he heard the sound of the TARDIS materializing inside the storage room below. It didn't surprise him anymore because he had accepted the idea that the Doctor was making Cardiff a regular stop. Remembering their last conversation, the Captain patiently waited for his friend to make an appearance upstairs. He didn't want to get into trouble with a disturbed TARDIS. It still hurt not seeing her, but he trusted the Doctor's words that he was trying to change the ship's mind.

He was getting a bit nervous, though, when the Time Lord didn't show up after a few minutes and slowly made his way through the Hub toward the stairs. The quiet steps he heard calmed him down a bit. It didn't sound like the Doctor's usual confident self, though. His breath stopped when he saw a figure moving up. He hadn't been prepared to meet Rose without the Doctor at her side. He had imagined that they would have the chance to see each other again after the Time Lord's statement before leaving the last time, but why was she alone?

Rose came to a halt in front of him, apparently speechless when she saw him. "Rose," he said, his eyes shimmering with a mixture of joy and anticipation. How would she react after what she must know by now?

He shouldn't have worried. In the blink of an eye, she threw herself in his arms and hugged him tightly. "Jack," she drew out between tears. "I can't believe that you're alive! Oh, that's wonderful. I'm so happy to see you!"

There was more in her voice than the mere joy of this reunion, some kind of relief mixed with despair, and he decided that now was not the time to address all the issues they needed to discuss. He slowly untangled himself from her embrace and took her hands in his. "What's wrong, Rose?" he asked and squeezed her hands when he felt her trembling.

"I don't know. The Doctor, he . . . The TARDIS must have been programmed to land here. I didn't do anything. He just fainted, Jack!"

The Captain's eyes widened at her words. She was confused, and the only thing he could understand was that something must be utterly wrong with their friend.

"I wasn't able to move him," she said with tears in her eyes.

Jack swallowed against the lump forming in his throat. The Doctor was alone in the TARDIS, apparently ill, and he couldn't even help him if the ship wouldn't let him in. He needed to call Owen to examine the Time Lord, but he didn't' want to wait for the medic to arrive until he could see what was wrong.

He tried to calm down Rose with a soft voice. "We're going to help him, Rose. Just sit down and calm yourself. The TARDIS knew what she was doing when she brought him here." He stroked gently over her hair and slowly led her to the couch to sit down. Then he pushed a button on his mobile. It didn't take his medic long to answer.

"Owen, we have a case of an emergency involving the Doctor. We need your help here," he said, carefully trying to suppress the worry in his voice.

After he knew that Owen would be arriving soon, he looked back to the desperate woman on the couch. "You wait here. I am going down to check on him."

She looked up, tears glistening in her eyes. "The TARDIS won't let you in," she said with a trembling voice. Well, the Time Lord had given her the whole picture then.

"She has to get over it then," he said, his voice full of a determination he didn't feel. "She brought him here for us to help him. Now she has to finish this."

Without waiting for a reply, he hurried down the stairs. The moment he entered the storage room, he was met by a wave of revulsion and inhaled sharply, trying to ignore it. He had to do this. The Doctor had trusted him enough to program his ship to come here if something happened to him, and he would do what was possible to live up to this honor.

Slowly he approached the police box, breathing against the waves of refusal he was receiving. It took him a long time to finally stand in front of the ship’s doors. He held up one hand and carefully placed it on the wooden door, almost crying out at the sudden pain she was causing him. "Hush, beautiful, I know it hurts. But you have to let me in. He needs help. I promise you to get him back," he whispered in a soothing voice.

She seemed to shudder, and he felt her recoiling from his touch. He began caressing her gently, pouring all the love he had for her into his movement. He couldn't fully understand how she connected with him, but he knew he had to try to calm her down. On the other side of this door was his friend in need of help, and he wouldn't accept no for an answer.

She hummed quietly now, and he felt some of her resistance fading. Smiling brightly, he continued to talk to her. "You see, you can do it. He's connected to you, and you know he needs me right now. You never would have landed here if you didn't know that. Now, come on, open those doors for me so that I can take care of him."

It seemed to take hours, but finally, the doors opened slowly. Carefully keeping his hand in contact with the ship, Jack entered, trying to sense her distress and soothe her. The moment he stood in the console room, a warm feeling spread through him, and he took a deep breath. Even through the negative emotions, she was throwing at him, he felt the joy of having him back, and a deep sense of homecoming filled his senses. "You really _are_ beautiful," he whispered, gently squeezing the railing. "I've missed you so much." He tried to project his gratefulness, and at a reassuring hum, he walked over to the console, where the Doctor was lying on the ground.

He must have fainted while navigating and Jack smiled when he saw that Rose had tried to make him comfortable. The Doctor's coat was tucked under his head as a pillow, and she had placed a blanket over him. The Captain crouched down beside the Time Lord and realized that the alien was trembling. He reached out with his hand and was surprised that his friend grabbed it almost desperately. Gently he squeezed it and began to murmur, "Hush, I'm here. I'm going to help you. I just need to get you out of the TARDIs. I'm hurting her."

The Time Lord's lips were pressed together tightly, and his eyelids fluttered. He was too cold even for his standards, and Jack couldn't fight the feeling that he hadn't fainted but was succumbing to the need of focusing inward, not able to cope with what was happening inside his mind otherwise.

Carefully he picked him up and left the ship, not without giving her a grateful pad before making his way upstairs.

* * *

It took Owen Harper only twenty minutes to make his way to the Hub. In a rush, he tapped in the security codes and gave a relieved sigh when the door to the Hub finally opened. He knew that there was no messing with their Captain when it came to the Doctor. From the few bits Jack had shared about their relationship, all of them had realized how important he was to their leader. The medic just hoped he would be able to help the Time Lord. The physician knew little enough about him. However, that was what he was good at, working with what he had. The Doctor wasn't the first alien who had to rely on him, and he would do what he could.

He looked around and was surprised to find the Hub silent. Where was Jack? His gaze shifted toward the couch, and he spotted a blonde girl sitting there. The moment she saw him, she stood up and reached out with her hand to greet him.

"Hello," she said, her voice trembling a bit. "I am Rose Tyler, the Doctor's companion."

He took her hand and gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm Owen. I am the medic around here. What happened?"

She swallowed briefly, and he saw that she was struggling with her emotions, but then she looked up and said in a steady voice, "I was with the Doctor in the TARDIS." At his questioning glance, she added an explanation. "His ship, it's called the TARDIS. We just left. . . Um, he wanted to relocate her, and suddenly he fainted. I couldn't wake him up, and a few moments later, I found myself here. Jack went down to fetch him." She looked toward the stairs, worry in her eyes. "I wonder what's taking him so long."

Owen followed her gaze and gave her a nod. He briefly debated with himself going down to help Jack but decided against it. Their Captain was capable enough to get the Doctor upstairs. Jack would expect him to prepare everything for examination, and there was another possibility to check on them. He walked over to his desk and took the Bluetooth device in his ear. "Jack?" he asked while moving toward the autopsy room.

"I am almost there, Owen," the Captain's voice responded, and Owen could sense Jack's relief that the medic was already there. "He's unresponsive, but not unconscious. We need to stabilize him."

Owen looked wearily around. Well, it would be easier if he had any idea how to stabilize a Time Lord. Rose had followed him, and while he gathered all the necessary items, he began to question her. "You're traveling with him. So, tell me everything you know about his physiology. Every little detail can help. I need to know how different from us he is."

"He has two hearts," she said, and Owen gave her a surprised look. "We need to check heart activity on both sides. I've already done that when he fainted. Both hearts were beating steadily."

Owen nodded. "That's good. Anything else?"

"His body temperature is below ours," she said.

"How much below?" he asked, beginning to fear that she didn't know enough.

Her eyes confirmed his suspicion. "Any allergies to common human medication?" he inquired, trying to keep the impatience from his voice.

She shook her head, indicating that she didn't know. Then she sank back on the stairs. "Oh my god, I know nothing," she said with despair. "I should have asked him. Now it could be too late."

The medic suppressed his impulse to agree with her. It wouldn't do any good to scold the only person who could help them with this right now. He walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "Come on, think. Is there anything that can help us?"

"He was ill before," she said, apparently calming down a bit. "After his regeneration, he was out for almost a day. He came to himself with tea, something about connecting his synapses."

Owen gave her a nod. Well, at least tea couldn't do any harm then.

"He eats an awful lot of bananas," she continued. "He says, it's because of the potassium. . . and, he doesn't like pears. He seems pretty adamant about not having them."

Well, it wasn't much, but it had to do for the moment. Later, Jack would open the classified file about the Doctor, and maybe he would find more information there. He began to prepare the autopsy table. Owen didn't like the fact that they had to use it for the Time Lord. So he added some pillows to make it more comfortable. At least that would help for the moment.

Then he heard Jack's steps on the stairs and rushed over to him. The Captain had the Time Lord gathered in his arms, and Owen cringed when he saw how pale and fragile the man looked. They moved him into the medical bay, and the medic began with his examination.

When he had finished, he looked up. "Rose said his body temperature is below ours. However, we don't know how much, but judging by the trembling, he must be freezing right now. As you said, he is not unconscious. Something is happening inside as if he is captured in a terrible nightmare. My guess is alien possession or something like it. He is fighting something. We need to have more details about him, Jack. I will draw a blood sample, but without knowing his normal results, it won't do us any good."

Jack gave him a nod. "I have a file from UNIT. He worked for them in the seventies. Maybe we'll find something there."

Rose's eyes widened at that. "He worked for an organization on Earth," she asked incredulously.

The Captain turned toward her. "He did. The commanding officer, Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, told me that his TARDIS had been disabled by the Time Lords and the Doctor had been stuck on Earth for a long time." He took her hand. "Come on, let's see what we can find."

Owen gave them a nod. "I am going to see what I can find here. Just get me something. If he continues to fight like this, we really need to sustain him, or he's going to die from exhaustion."

* * *

_"You thought that it was so easy? Killing me? You don't know what I am capable of,"_ the voice in his head was screaming, and the Doctor fought against the pain it was causing. _"Oh, you are a special one, aren't you,"_ it began to taunt again. _"A Time Lord. . . The one who killed his people. What a burden you're carrying there. Didn't it ever occur to you that one day you'd have to pay the price for what you've done?"_

Images of the Time War were overwhelming him, and the Doctor tried to shut them out. But it was too strong, and he felt his strength leaving him. No, he had to fight. This wasn't real – the voice wasn't real – only the imaginations of his own mind. He needed to snap out of it. With one last effort, he gathered his energy and began focusing inwardly. Slowly the pictures started to fade, and he was met with oblivion.

* * *

Jack had gathered all the information he had been able to find. Rose had been crestfallen when she had realized how little the Doctor had shared with her, and it had taken him some time to calm her down. He had left her on the couch again, hoping that she would be able to get some rest. There was a reason why the Doctor had come here. His friend must have known that he would need their equipment in case of an emergency, and Jack had found precisely the thing in his locked archives.

He handed Owen the device, and at the questioning glance from the medic, he said, "You told me that he could be possessed. This scanner should be able to detect any other life form within his body. At least we're going to know if your theory is right."

Owen nodded and took the scanner, scrutinizing it. "Anything in the files?" he asked.

"Not much, I'm afraid. The Doctor was always careful with sharing details about Time Lord Physiology. He claimed that a blood sample of a Time Lord could change human history forever. He didn't want to have that knowledge in the wrong hands. I found that he is allergic to Aspirin, though."

"Not much help then," the medic said, defeated. "Any other solutions? He must keep some sort of medication in his ship. Considering that he is the last of his kind, I can't imagine that he hasn't prepared for something like this."

Jack looked toward his pale friend with sad eyes. "Honestly, I am not sure. Sometimes he gives me that impression of someone who just dances on a volcano. I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to take things as they come."

Suddenly the Time Lord's head lifted up a bit, his face showing a painful expression. Jack rushed toward his side and took his hand. "Doctor?" he almost shouted. The brown eyes opened for a brief moment, and the Captain flinched at how much despair he saw in them. Then his friend slumped down onto the table again, and any sign of life disappeared.

Owen placed the stethoscope onto the Time Lord's chest, checking both of his hearts, and nodded satisfied. "Whatever happened, his hearts are beating more in synch now. Look," he pointed toward the Doctor's face, "his eyelids have ceased fluttering. He seems to be at rest at the moment. But his pulse is weak, and he's losing energy. We really need to find something to help him regain his strength."

"You could work with the hints Rose gave you. He seems to need a lot of potassium. I mean, when I traveled with him, he always had bananas stored in the TARDIS. . . ." Owen's incredulous look stopped his sentence, and he bit his lip. He hadn't planned on sharing this.

"You traveled with him?" Owen asked while looking toward the monitor screen, trying to work out how to survey the vital signs of a Time Lord.

Jack briefly thought about brushing it off but decided against it. As the Doctor seemed to have chosen Torchwood as his safe location, he really needed to give his team the full picture. There would be even more awkward situations if he didn't. "He picked me up in 1941 during the London blitz. I did something stupid, and we cleaned up the mess together. I would have died if he hadn't come to my rescue. Then I just stayed."

Owen gave him a nod, and Jack was grateful that his medic didn't insist on more information. Telling him that he traveled with Rose and the Doctor was one thing, but he wasn't ready to talk about Satellite Five yet.

"It certainly explains why you seem to know more about aliens than any of us around here," Owen said and began placing the wires of the surveillance monitor on the motionless body before him. Then he heaved a deep sigh. "This is no good, Jack. You need to check if he keeps any records on his ship. Meanwhile, I will prepare this scanner thing to check for other life forms. But if we can't find something to give him the strength to fight it, we can't help him. His heart rate is already going down. The stress is too much for him. I mean, look at him. He doesn't seem to be fond of nutrition anyway."

Jack looked down at the Doctor, and he had to admit that Owen was right. The Time Lord was pale and fragile. However, he loathed the thought of entering the TARDIS again. The Captain had felt how much his presence had hurt her before. "Look," he replied and tried to think of an explanation. "I am no medic. I wouldn't know what to look for. Why don't you take Rose and look for what you need? She should be able to communicate with the TARDIS to get the information from her."

He saw the frown forming on the medic's face at his choice of words. But then Owen turned the monitor toward Jack with a nod. "Just check for any changes here then. I am recording everything. Any report will help us figure him out."

The Captain looked after his retreating form. Then he sat down and began working with the scanner while carefully watching the Time Lord with worry. "What are you fighting, my friend?" he asked softly. "You really should have prepared us for this. But that's what you do, make it up as you go along. Well, we can work with that. . . ." A wistful smile crossed his lips.

After having fiddled with the alien tech long enough, a green light showed him that it was ready for use. He held it over the Time Lord's body and slowly let it drift from head to toe and back. It took only a second to get the result, and Jack's heart sank – no other life form detected. Which meant there was still no clue what was happening to the Doctor. He would have preferred to know what they were fighting.

* * *

Rose was glad that she had something to do, and Owen Harper seemed to know exactly what he needed. She had calmed down a bit when he had reassured her that the Doctor was stable, but they needed to develop a solution to help him through his ordeal. Jack was apparently checking him for alien possession, and she shivered at the thought that the mysterious entity from their last adventure had somehow escaped within the Doctor's body. But she was sure that she had killed it. She shook her head and laid a hand on the TARDIS door, silently asking for her to grant the medic entrance.

In an instant, the doors opened, and Rose took Owen's hand. "Now, I know this will be a bit overwhelming. However, questions will have to wait until we have found what you need," she began to explain, and in the next moment, she saw Owen's eyes widen.

"Well, let's see what we can find then." The medic said, regaining his composure without hesitation. Rose had to pay him her respects. Owen Harper was a professional, and he didn't let himself distract from his patient's well-being. "Where do we start, though?" he asked, looking around.

In the back of the console room, a door opened at his question, and Rose sent a grateful thought toward the ship. "I think she knows what you're looking for," she said, ignoring Owen's bewildered expression.

The first room behind the door was the medical bay, and when they entered it, the monitor was blinking. Owen walked over to it and took out his data stick. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that this ship is sentient. Or maybe the Doctor installed another emergency protocol. This is exactly the file we need," he said, not seeing Rose's smile behind his back.

She suddenly had the feeling that there was more and looked up. There were IV bags stuffed in the shelves, and she took one of them to see what it was. She could have sworn that the writing on them changed the moment she held it in her hands. "I think this is what will sustain him," she said, handing it over to the medic.

Owen inhaled sharply, and his expression became bewildered. "Jack thought that the Doctor hadn't prepared for this. But he was wrong. With these, we can help him. I am sure about that. I've never met someone better prepared for an emergency."

Rose didn't answer, knowing fully well that Jack had been right. It wasn't the Doctor who had been prepared. Once more, it was the TARDIS that had provided them with exactly what they needed. Somehow, she found Owen Harper trustworthy enough to help her pilot, and Rose was grateful for that. She couldn't even think about another possibility.

* * *

_"Ah, shutting me out won't work!"_ With a vengeance, the voice was back, and the Doctor shook violently at the assault. _"You will pay for your sins. Time Lord."_

It was his own mind playing tricks on him, and his strength was leaving him. He wasn't able to fight it any longer. _"She will die! Do you hear that, Doctor?"_ The voice was creeping through his system, filling him with pain. _"Your faithful companion will die in battle, and once more, it will be your fault. You killed your own people, and now you will be responsible for another death!"_

He shuddered at these words. No, he had killed the beast. There was no way it could be back. Once more, he tried to shut it out but to no avail. His whole body was burning up, and a wave of guilt began to consume him. _"No,"_ he whispered before giving in and collapsing.

* * *

As Jack put the scanner onto one of the shelves surrounding them, he suddenly heard a whimper coming from the Doctor. He turned around and rushed toward the autopsy table. The Time Lord was trembling violently, and the surveillance monitor showed his hearts' rate accelerating. Jack placed his hand on the other man's chest, trying to calm him down, and his gut clenched when he saw the tears running over his friend's face. Whatever the Doctor was experiencing, it was causing a lot of pain, and they needed to help him soon.

His efforts to reassure the Time Lord didn't seem to help, and the Doctor began writhing around on the table. "Doctor," Jack said, trying to hide the desperation in his voice. He felt helpless at seeing the struggling Time Lord. What was happening?

Then suddenly the Doctor stilled and with a whispered _'No'_ he collapsed. The monitor began to beep loudly, and Jack knew immediately that the Time Lord's hearts had stopped beating. "Oh no," he cried out. "Don't you dare die on me!"

Not knowing how to deal with a dying Time Lord, Jack did the only thing he could come up with and began resuscitation, alternating between both sides of his chest and reinforcing his breath with a certain amount of Artron energy. The Doctor's hearts began beating again almost instantly, and when Jack gave him a last boost of energy into his mouth, his face took on a healthier color. Satisfied that the Time Lord was stable for now, the Captain sank back onto the stool at the table's side. The adrenaline in his body began to fade, and he shuddered when he thought about how close this had been. There had been no sign of regeneration, not that Jack would know how the process worked. But he was reasonably sure that if the Doctor died too quickly to initiate it, he could actually be gone forever. At that thought, the Captain felt panic nearly overwhelming him, and he was glad to hear Owen and Rose running down the stairs toward him. He just hoped that they had found something to help their friend.

"What happened?" the medic said with a strained voice at seeing the monitor.

"He arrested," Jack replied with a neutral tone, trying to keep this professional. It wouldn't help to show his fear in front of Owen, and he certainly didn't want to panic Rose. "I was able to bring him back. He seems to be stable now."

Rose approached the table and leaned over the Doctor, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "He's fine now, Rose." Then he looked at his medic. "Did you find something?"

Owen gave him a brief nod, already occupied with putting up an IV. "We don't exactly know what it is, but it seems to be some nutrition fluid. We found it in the medical bay of his ship. Seems that you were wrong. He actually _has_ prepared for this."

Jack gave him a frown. "How do you know?"

"Well, the writing on it is English. Now I gather that's not his native language, and why should he have placed them in front of anything else if he hadn't wanted to help us in case of emergency?"

Jack saw Rose's glance at the medic's words and smiled. The TARDIS had helped them, being obviously equally concerned about her pilot's well-being as they all were. But Owen didn't have a clue. He gave the medic a nod. "Well, good that he did that then. Anything about his normal blood levels and body temperature?"

Rose turned around to him and gave him a data stick. "Should be on this file," she said, and Jack saw that she had regained her composure a bit.

"Okay, I'm going to feed the system with these while you put up the IV. Rose, would you mind staying with him? I don't know how well he's going to remember Owen, and I don't want him to panic if he wakes up."

She gave him a nod and sat down at the Doctor's side, taking his hand in hers. When Jack was on the stairs, he turned around again. "Can we move him to the sofa, Owen? I want to make him comfortable. Who knows how long this is going to take."

The medic looked up. "Yes, just prepare it and then come back to help me carry him. He seems to be stable enough, and we don't want to evoke a panic attack if he wakes up on an autopsy table, do we?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Fortunately, the day in the Hub was one of the slowest they had experienced in a long time. Owen was alternating between his computer and the sofa to check on his patient regularly. The Doctor looked a bit healthier now that they had fed him with the nutrition fluid over the day.

Tosh and Suzie had taken in Jack's report about what had happened silently, and without making a fuss, they had begun their usual work. All of them knew how important this alien was to Jack without their Captain having expressed it to them. They were used to Jack being secretive, and he had chosen them because they were able to accept it without questions.

Rose hadn't left the Time Lord's side for a minute and was murmuring to him quietly. Owen was glad that she was there, knowing that whatever was happening to him had to do with his own mind rather than any influence from the outside. As Jack had told them, there was no sign of alien possession, and Owen had compared his blood results with his normal levels and hadn't detected anything abnormal. Physically the Time Lord was completely healthy. But he hadn't come round yet, and the only thing they could do was waiting.

Jack had closed himself in his office, and Owen wondered why their Captain didn't fuss more over his friend. But it wasn't his place to ask. Maybe Jack had decided that Rose could help the Doctor better than him.

He saw the blonde girl yawning and realized that she should get some rest soon. Before he could point it out, though, Tosh stood up and walked over to her. "You have to leave him for a bit," she said softly, placing a hand on Rose's shoulder. "I am going to sit with him. You need to get some rest."

The Doctor's companion looked up with tired eyes, and Owen saw that she wanted to protest. He moved toward the sofa and cleared his throat. "Tosh is right. You're tired. I don't need another person collapsing on me today. We will stay here, and I promise to tell you if anything changes."

Rose seemed to debate his suggestion, looking toward the Doctor with worried eyes. Then she nodded. "I don't want to go back into the TARDIS. Is there another place for me to rest?" she asked.

Tosh pointed toward Jack's office. "He has a place to sleep over there. Just ask him to show it to you."

Without further protest, the blonde girl left, and Owen gave Tosh a grateful smile.

The Asian woman sat down beside the Time Lord and took his hand like Rose had done before. "What's wrong with him?" she asked, knowing that Owen hadn't told Rose everything.

He heaved a deep sigh. "Honestly? I don't know. His blood levels are normal, as are his body temperature and his hearts' rate. He should be awake right now. The nutrition fluid did stabilize him enough, but he is still underfed. I don't think he takes enough time to eat under normal circumstances. It's not a condition to run through time and space and save the universe frequently."

She looked at the still pale face of their patient. "I could check his brain activity," she suggested with a contemplative expression. "It could give us some clue about what's going on. Maybe he is somehow trapped within himself."

Owen's eyes lit up. "Tosh, you're brilliant. That's it. You think you can do that? His brain is vastly different from ours."

Tosh gave him an indignant look. "Well, this is not the first alien brain I have checked, remember?"

The medic felt excitement. He really wanted the Doctor to feel better. Briefly, he wondered why that was. He didn't even know him that well. But somehow, this alien had won him over with his usually so brilliant smile. Tosh seemed to be equally affected by him. He was like the sun, and they were all circling around him. Only Suzie was ignoring his presence in the Hub most of the time.

* * *

Jack looked up when the door opened, and he was surprised to see Rose standing there. She looked beaten, and a brief look toward his watch told him that it was already late in the evening. He must have forgotten the time while working. "Have you been sitting with him for the whole day?" he asked with a slightly scolding tone.

She gave him a sad look. "Yes, but there's no change. He's just lying there, motionless." She sank down on the chair across from him. "Oh, Jack, what are we going to do?" she asked with a broken voice.

He ran his hands over his face, feeling desperate. He had hoped that Rose could be able to get through to the Time Lord. He knew that it would be even more difficult for his friend to deal with Jack's supposed wrongness in his current condition, and he didn't want to put any more strain on him. But the Captain had to check on him now. However, first, he had to get Rose into bed. She looked like she was ready to fall over.

He stood up and took her hand. "Come on, I'll show you my bed. You really need to take a nap. It won't help him if you collapse from fatigue."

He led her over to the ladder and slowly began his descend, watching her following him. When she was at the end of the ladder, he gently embraced her from behind. "I promise you, we will get him back," he whispered.

She turned around in his arms, and her eyes were filled with tears. "Why are you so nice to me, Jack?" she asked, her voice trembling. At the question in his eyes, she continued, "After what I did to you? I've condemned you to eternal life. The Doctor told me all about it. Oh, Jack, I am so sorry. I really don't know how I did it. . . ."

The Captain squeezed her shoulders reassuringly. "Rose, stop it. You don't need to apologize. I know how it happened, and I don't blame you. It was difficult at first, but I had over a century to become used to it." When he saw her tears welling even more at his words, he winked at her. "There are positive aspects to this, you know."

"What have we done?" she said between sobs, crying into his shoulder. "We left you there. Oh, Jack, if only I had known. I wouldn't have let him leave you behind."

He led her to the bed, sitting down with her and taking her hands in his. "And how would you have done that? He was regenerating, and then you had to fight the Sycorax. You and him, you had enough on your plate. He already apologized, and I can understand now."

She looked at him doubtfully. "He apologized?"

The Captain gave her a smile. "Well, he didn't use the exact words, but it was obvious enough for me to understand the meaning."

She laughed between her tears. "Sounds like him," she said, and Jack was glad that she began to calm down.

"I am happy that he told you," Jack said, slowly guiding her to lie down. "I've missed you so much."

She snuggled into the pillow and squeezed his hand. "I've missed you, too. It wasn't the same after you left."

Jack gave her a mischievous smile. "Well, I can imagine that. I am not easily forgotten." Then he grew serious. "And he is different after. . . ."

She rolled her eyes. "You tell me. I couldn't accept that he even _was_ the Doctor first. I thought he was some alien. Well, it reminded me of the fact that he actually _is_. And he was so rude at the beginning. Yes, he's definitely changed."

Jack nodded thoughtfully. "There is some edge to him that wasn't there before. He seems more carefree than our Doctor, but I've seen his eyes when he is angry."

She swallowed thickly at that. "Yes, he seems to have left behind the colossal amount of guilt he carried with him before. But at the same time, he left behind the restraint. He gives his enemies one chance, and you should see him when they don't take it. I've never seen this shimmer in the eyes of his former self. He's more intense. . . ."

Jack wondered briefly if his suffering was also more intense, which would explain his prolonged healing time now. He smiled at the woman before him with reassurance. "But he is still the Doctor, absolutely brilliant and a little bit mad," he said in a light tone and received a laugh from Rose.

"Yes, he certainly is. And I am used to his current self now. He's not so bad looking either."

"He isn't as attractive as I am," he replied, gently stroking over her hair. "But I have to give him some credit there."

She giggled, and he gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Sleep now. I am going to look into what my team is up to."

He turned out the lights and left her to rest.

* * *

 _"You're feeling better,"_ the voice said, barely hiding its disappointment.

The Doctor looked around. He was still trapped in his own mind, and somehow it had manifested itself through a vast white room. He leaned against the wall tiredly. _"I still have some friends, you know,"_ he said, his voice quiet.

_"I wonder why that is? I mean, you don't really deserve them from what I've seen of your mind. You just use them, then leave them behind when they have outlived their purpose –Jack, for example. He gave his life for you and you? You just bugger off without further thought."_

The Time Lord flinched at that. The voice was right. He had hurt Jack, and he should have fought the TARDIS when she decided that the Captain had no longer a place in their lives.

 _"You did the same with Sarah Jane. You couldn't be bothered to return to let her know that you were safe. You just left her wondering. But in the end, you always succeed in wooing them again. She forgave you, Jack forgave you. But. . ."_ the Doctor felt the voice getting louder again, _"you don't deserve their forgiveness!"_

He shook at the impact of the yelling in his head. He slowly slipped down onto the floor, hiding his head between his knees. _"Yes, I know,"_ he said with a defeated voice.

* * *

When Jack came out of his office, the Doctor was still lying motionless on the sofa. The Captain looked around and saw Owen and Toshiko behind her computer, whispering quietly. He didn't like the concerned expression on his medic's face.

"What are you two up to?" he asked and walked over to them.

Tosh turned around and smiled. "Well, it was about time that you came out. We've been wondering why you kept yourself locked in there," she said. "We've been checking the Doctor's brain activity."

Jack's interest was definitely piqued now. "And?" he asked, looking at the screen before him.

"He's still fighting something," Owen replied. "The nutrition fluid helped him to regain some strength, but his brain is practically buzzing with activity. If we can't find out how to snap him out of it, he will remain in this state. Well, maybe he will be able to figure it out on his own. But I highly doubt it. A brain like his should have fought off whatever is bothering him by now."

Jack gave them a nod. "Is there any indication of what's happening? Any sign of which parts of his brain are most affected."

Tosh took a breath and pushed a few buttons on her keyboard. "It's his emotional center. The activity is centered around here," she pointed toward a red area on the screen. "The spikes are very irregular, and I am pretty sure that only strong emotions would be able to disturb him like this."

"Well, I agree," Jack said, knowing fully well that the Doctor wasn't the best at dealing with his emotions.

"There is more," she added. "I've been able to detect an unused area of his brain, and he's reaching out for it. It's as if he knows what would be able to help him, but it isn't there."

A deep frown formed on Jack's forehead at that. "You mean his brain isn't fully functional?"

She gave him an unbelieving snort. "You really think that? No, I've never seen a brain like this. It's more than functional. It's even functional in areas where a human brain is just wasteland. He has telepathic abilities and. . . "

"Tosh," he cried out. "That's it! Oh, you're brilliant," Jack looked toward the Doctor and smiled. "I know what he's trying to reach out for. Telepathic, why didn't I think of that before?"

"Well, care to share your knowledge with us, or is this the moment you'll become all secretive again and leave us lesser beings in the dark," Owen accused, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Jack's eyes narrowed at that. "Now is hardly the time, Owen," he responded sharply. "He's a telepath, and he told me that until his people had died, he had a connection with them. He's reaching out for that."

"And that helps us how?" Owen asked with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Don't you understand? He can't fight it off alone. But he knows it. He's reaching out for help, and we just need to provide him with what he needs."

Their conversation had alerted Suzie enough to move over to them, and she looked curiously at their Captain. "You mean we provide him with a telepathic connection that is strong enough to draw him out of the corner of his mind he's trapped in?" she asked. "Well, I hate to point out the obvious here, but no one in this room has the necessary skills to make such a connection with him."

Jack turned toward her. She was their specialist when it came to these things. Suzie was the only one who was able to sense a certain amount of emotions from other beings. But she wouldn't be able to do what the Doctor needed.

He took a deep breath. "Well, no one besides me," he said, bracing himself for their reactions.

As he had expected, Suzie was the first to say something. "You?" she asked with raised eyebrows. "You never gave me the impression that you were psychic before."

"Yeah," he replied. "That's because I know how to shield. And I am no professional, so I don't use it. It could do more harm than good. But I've received a certain amount of psychic training in my life."

Suzie's eyebrows went up a bit more.

"He's traveled with the Doctor before he came here, Suzie," Owen explained. "I'd guess that sometime in the future, he must have picked it up."

"I'm still here, you know," Jack said, his voice getting exasperated.

Suzie's gaze briefly shifted toward the Doctor on the sofa. Then she looked back to Jack. "Let me get this straight. You have some sort of psychic training, but you've never used it for the benefit of Torchwood over all this time, knowing fully well that we could have needed it. You didn't because the risk was too high. I guess you mean the risk of your mind being consumed by another being because your training wasn't sufficient enough to maintain your shields while actively entering another mind."

He flinched at her words. She really knew too much about telepathic connections to deny it.

"And," she continued, her voice now rising the slightest bit, "now you want to use your training because your friend needs some undefined connection to recover? You want to enter the mind of _this_ man?" She pointed toward the Doctor. Then she turned around to the screen again and waved toward the picture on it. "The man with the most superior brain we've ever encountered. . . ."

Toshiko couldn't help but ask, "Why is his superiority significant?"

Owen rolled his eyes. "Because our Captain just suggested to risk himself losing in the mind of his favorite Time Lord. The superior brain is stronger, and if Jack isn't able to maintain his shields, the Doctor's brain will swallow him whole."

Jack shot him a furious glare. "You don't have to exaggerate, Owen. I admit that there is a risk involved."

"A risk?" Suzie interrupted him, her voice incredulous. "From where I stand, looking at the brain of the Doctor, I can't see how you want to come out of this without suffering severe mental damage. Or am I wrong about the amount of training you've received?"

Jack shook his head. "Your judgment is right as it always is, Suzie. But I _have_ to help him. I can't let him suffer any longer. If he's reaching out for help, there's no way he will be able to come out of this on his own. Trust me, I know him well enough to be sure of that. He never ever asks for any help."

"And why pray tell, would you risk your life, no your mind, for a man we haven't even heard about until two months ago he walked into the Hub and you introduced him as your long lost friend, the Doctor? If he is that important, why didn't you tell us of him before?" His second in command asked, trying to regain her composure but failing.

"Well, I couldn't talk to you about him, could I?" Jack responded with agitation. "What would you have me tell you? Oh, by the way, the Doctor, Torchwood's enemy number one, is actually a friend of mine, and he might walk in someday, and if he does, please give him a cup of tea and do not bother him. Yes, that would have gone well, would it?"

"Oh, stop it, Jack," Suzie shot back. "That's exactly what you did two months ago. You brought him here, let him walk around as if he owns the place, and told us to ignore the fact that Torchwood One would have our heads if they knew that their most wanted is here."

Toshiko looked at her with bewilderment. "You have to admit that he doesn't seem to be the dangerous being Torchwood One made us believe he is."

Suzie turned to her. "Oh, he's wrapped you all around his finger, hasn't he? You're all fretting over him as if he was the most precious thing. But you don't know anything about him, do you? He's not the innocent man Jack wants us to believe he is."

Jack was looking at his second in command with wide eyes. He hadn't realized how much she knew about the Doctor, and he never would have thought that she had a problem with the Time Lord's presence here. For a moment, he was speechless, not able to come up with a suitable response.

Owen cleared his throat then. "I don't want to disturb you in your little row there. But I have a patient, and he's not getting better if we don't come up with a solution." He held up his hand to stop Suzie from interfering. "I am not interested in anything you have to say. As far as I'm concerned, he can be the most horrible creature on Earth – well, in his case, the universe might be the more appropriate term. But he is still my patient, and I will treat him."

At Jack's grateful smile, he added, "Don't get me wrong. I am not ready to risk you on the way, either. Now, let me get this straight. There is a chance that a telepathic connection would help him snap out of whatever nightmare he's trapped in. But if Jack enters his mind, he will be too weak to avoid being consumed?"

Suzie gave him a silent nod. Apparently, Owen's rational speech had calmed her down enough to leave the issue behind for the moment. Jack knew that this wasn't the end of their discussion, though.

"Well, is there a possibility to make Jack stronger?" Owen asked.

"If another telepath could anchor him, he would have a chance to enter the Doctor's mind and do what needs to be done without risking himself," Suzie replied and turned toward Jack. "But as we don't have another telepath at hand, this is the end of the discussion."

"Except we have," Owen cut in and was met with incredulous stares from the rest of the team.

Owen slapped his hand on the desk before him. "Oh, we _have_. I should have realized when we were in his ship. It's sentient. It wasn't the Doctor who provided us with the nutrition fluid. He'd never even think about food. Why should he prepare something like this? It was his _ship_. If Jack were connected with her, he could do it."

Jack's heart sank. Owen was right, but the TARDIS would never agree to this.

Toshiko's eyes became excited. "A sentient ship? Oh, that's wonderful. I'd love to have a look at it." Then she frowned. "But why does he need Jack then? I mean, couldn't the ship do it on her own? They already must have an established connection."

"The TARDIS can't do that," Jack said, shaking his head. "She can provide him with what he needs, but she couldn't enter his mind to get him out. If it were possible, she would have done it the moment he collapsed. I presume he needs someone who can communicate with him on another level than her." When he saw the questions in his teammates' eyes, he tried to elaborate. "I don't know how it exactly works, but I think their connection is based on feelings, emotions. They can't actually talk to each other. And as he is her pilot, he is the dominant one in this relationship. She wouldn't be able to tell him what to do. . . ."

"She can't order him to snap out of it," Owen cleared that up in his unique way. "But she could anchor Jack to do it."

Jack sank down on a chair, his facial expression showing defeat. "But she won't do it," he said and ran his hand over his face. How should he explain this? He couldn't let them in on his secret. There was already too much turmoil in their relationship after Suzie's rant about the Doctor. They never would trust him again if he told them now that their leader was an immortal 51st-century guy. He took a deep breath, trying to regain some of his calm. Then he looked up.

"When I traveled with the Doctor, something happened to me which made her reject me. That's why I came here and began working for Torchwood. She hurts if I enter her. She can't make a connection with me." The others were looking at him with confusion. "Look, I don't know how this works either. You'd have to ask the Doctor to explain it properly. The point is that something in my body is like poison to her."

Tosh raised her eyebrows. "Look at us. We're talking about a ship as if. . . ."

"As if she was a sentient being," Jack completed her sentence. "Well, that's what she is. And you get used to talking like this if you're around the Doctor."

They fell silent for a moment. Then Owen walked over to the motionless Time Lord on the sofa and touched his temple with his hand. "He's ice-cold," he said with worry in his voice.

Toshiko began to type again and looked at the screen, examining the Doctor's brain. "The activity has gone down," she muttered. "What's happening? I think he's beginning to give up. What the hell is he fighting? Someone with such a brain should be able to get out of this faster."

"He's trapped himself," Jack said with a sad voice. "There's only one being in the universe strong enough to defeat him like that. The greatest enemy of the Doctor is the Doctor himself."

* * *

Rose slowly came awake in the middle of the night and immediately knew that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. The urge to go upstairs to check on the Doctor was too strong. Stretching her muscles, she moved up and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Jack sitting there in an armchair. He was looking at her, and she cringed when she saw the sadness in his eyes.

"Did you watch me sleep?" she asked with a wink, trying to lighten his mood. "Really, Jack, if I didn't know you well enough, I'd say that is really creepy."

She was rewarded with a weak smile, but the sadness was still there. "How is the Doctor?" she hurried to ask, swallowing against the panic.

"He's unchanged," Jack replied flatly. "Rose, I need to know what happened. Where have you been before this started?"

She shrugged. "Honestly, I can't say." She didn't want to talk about it. But she knew that Jack wouldn't ask without reason. "It was a sanctuary base in the 51st century. They examined an energy source near a black hole. Turned out that the energy source was an entity. It possessed one of the crew, and he attacked us. Meanwhile, the Doctor had gone down to the source. . ."

Jack raised his eyebrows, and she shook her head. "I'm sorry this is all mixed up."

He smiled reassuringly. "Well, I am quite used to that, or do you think that he gives me the full picture when he starts babbling? Anyway, tell me more about this creature. You called it an entity?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Yes, somehow creature doesn't describe it. It said it was the devil."

The Captain's eyes widened. "Rose, there's no such thing as the devil."

"As if I don't know that. . . However, it played with us. It drew on our deepest fears, guilt. . . All the dark emotions buried inside, you know." She took a deep breath. "In the end, I sent it flying into the black hole, and the Doctor did the same with its body. He rescued us with the help of the TARDIS, and that was it."

"There must have been more, Rose. I don't believe that the Doctor would be bothered by a being that's calling itself the devil."

She frowned. "There was one more thing. As I said, it played with our deepest fears. It told me that I am going to die in battle soon. The Doctor brushed it off, and honestly, it didn't really frighten me. I mean, I knew that this could happen one day. I faced enough deathly situations to not be put out by that."

He heaved a deep sigh. "It didn't target _you_ , Rose. This was intended for. . . ."

". . . the Doctor," she whispered.

"That's it! Oh, I should have known that it was something like this," he exclaimed. "This man is so full of guilt. He's buried himself in it."

She looked at him with bewilderment. "What do you mean?"

"He brushed it off, but it didn't work, Rose. He can't stand the thought of losing you, of your death being his fault, again."

"You think he's lying there for days because he thinks I'm going to die? Jack, that's the Doctor we're talking about."

"Exactly," he said and sprang up. "Come on, we need to talk to Owen. I'm going to need your help persuading the TARDIS to assist me in giving him what he needs to snap him out of his guilt-trip."

Without awaiting her reply, he climbed up the ladder, and she followed him. She wasn't convinced. However, she would do what she could if there was any chance to make the Doctor better.

Upstairs in the Hub, the lights were dimmed, and Rose noticed that Suzie and Toshiko must have gone home. Owen was resting in his chair but jerked awake the moment they approached him. He shook himself, and his first look went over to his patient, who was still resting on the sofa. Then the medic threw a questioning glance toward Jack, who slowly walked over to the Doctor and crouched down beside him. "Owen," he said in his commanding voice. "Tell Rose about our idea. She might be able to help." He took the Time Lord's hand and squeezed it. "You are the greatest fool I've ever met. But we will deal with this, I promise."

Owen gave a sigh. "I should have known you wouldn't abandon this," he said and led Rose over to Toshiko's computer. He took his time explaining the Doctor's brain to her and what the team had discussed earlier. When he had ended, she looked toward Jack.

"You really think you can do this?" she asked, her voice steady.

He stood up and walked over to them. "I am sure about it. Well, it depends on the TARDIS. But if she is willing to help me, I know that it will work. I don't think that I'd have to dig deep. He would feel me the moment I entered his mind, you know. . . ."

She gave him a nod. "Yes, he would. Well, it would be the best solution for him. However, why would you do this? After all that we've done to you. . ."

He took her by her shoulders. "I told you that I understand. I would do anything to get him back. I've been waiting for over a century to meet him again, and he only just walked back into my life. I don't want this to be over. He needs friends. I was sure about that when he was another man a long time ago. But I am even surer of it now. This Doctor needs someone. We have to show him that he doesn't have to bear this burden on his own. He saved the universe time and time again, and no one thanked him for it. And now he is trapped in this nightmare of his failures. We need to remind him of his achievements."

Owen gave his leader a frown. "What do you mean? You've been waiting for over a century? That's impossible."

Rose turned to the medic and gave him a brief smile. "The first thing you learn when being around the Doctor is that there isn't such a thing as impossible. Now, I think questions will have to wait. We need to move the Doctor into the TARDIS, and I am going to try to persuade her to help us."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Once more, Jack was carrying the Doctor in his arms. He was even paler than he had been when he had brought him upstairs the night before. Owen was beside him, ready to step in if the TARDIS would refuse to let the Captain in. Jack just hoped that this wasn't the case. Judging by their last brain scan, it was high time to get the Time Lord out of whatever was happening in his head. The brain activity was barely visible, and Owen feared that the Doctor giving up would have dire consequences if he wasn't helped soon.

When they arrived in the storage room, Rose was standing in front of the open TARDIS, caressing the ship gently. At Jack's presence, the police box gave a visible shudder, and the human girl began to murmur quietly to her.

The Captain looked at the doors and was glad to notice that they hadn't closed. Steadily, he walked over to Rose and immediately felt the TARDIS in his mind again. He couldn't help but smile when a welcoming wave flooded his senses. There was still an underlying sense of pain, but the gratefulness that he would help her Time Lord was dominant. Owen seemed to hold his breath while they entered the ship, but he led Jack to the medical bay without further delay.

When the Captain had laid his friend on one of the sickbeds, Owen began preparing the surveillance monitor, and Jack saw that the TARDIS was helping him along with the alien technology. Rose was putting up the IV, and then both of them looked toward the immortal with expectation.

"So, how is this going to work?" Owen asked with a pensive expression on his face.

"I am going to make a mental connection," Jack began to explain and felt an encouraging nudge coming from the ship. He reached out with his hand and placed it gently on the nearest wall. "She is going to help me with that." For a moment, he felt overwhelmed with awe that she would do this despite the pain he still caused her. Then he looked up again, his expression serious. "I don't know what this will do to him. So, it's up to you to monitor his hearts' rate, and in case of an emergency, you have to get me out. You have to be careful, though. Such a connection is fragile, and I have to lower my defenses to get it done properly. If you need to interfere, Rose should be able to tell the TARDIS to pull me back."

He saw that Owen was uncomfortable with that. "Maybe we should wait for Suzie. . ." the medic voiced his doubts.

Jack shook his head in refusal. "I couldn't trust her with it, Owen. She'd always put my well-being above his recovery."

Owen swallowed thickly. "I won't risk you either," he replied, his eyes drifting toward the silent form of the Doctor.

"Yes, but you're his medic. You want him to get better. Besides, you aren't going to pester him with awkward questions the moment he comes out of whatever he is trapped in at the moment. No," he said with determination, "I want him to wake up surrounded by people who have his best interest at heart. Who knows what harm Suzie could do? She might be able to reinforce his guilt trip the moment he recovers from it."

Rose was looking at them, her confusion evident on her face. "If you don't mind, would someone tell me what you're talking about?"

Jack heaved a sigh. "My second in command isn't convinced that the Doctor is our friend. Has he told you about Torchwood?"

She gave him a nod. "That it was founded to fight alien threats and that Queen Victoria considered him as one?" Then understanding crossed her face. "Oh, Suzie thinks he really could be, doesn't she? God, what have these people told you about him?"

Jack gave her a snort. "Well, there are files about the Doctor's visits on Earth over the years. And we both know that he was always involved when something strange happened."

"Yes, but only because he always came to our rescue. You know that, Jack."

Jack looked at Owen, who was listening carefully. "We both know that, Rose. But the Torchwood Institute was able to plant doubts. Everyone who works here thinks of the Doctor as their enemy. If they knew he was here, they would storm in and take him into custody."

Her eyes widened. "And what would they do to him?"

He shrugged. "A few years before now, I think they would just have tried to eliminate him. Now? With all the alien invasions in the recent past, I think they would take him prisoner and try to get him to share all of his knowledge with them. Yvonne Hartmann, the head of Torchwood One, is an efficient woman, and she wouldn't let this opportunity slip. Can you imagine what it would do to him?"

He saw that the thought of their independent friend being held as a prisoner was making her as sick as him, and to his satisfaction, he glimpsed the same expression on Owen's face.

"Now, shall we begin?" Jack asked, trying to sound self-assured. He didn't want to make them doubt this. But deep down, he knew that what he was about to do was more than risky.

Both gave him a nod, and while Rose took the Doctor's hand, Owen walked over to the surveillance monitor. Jack sat down at the Time Lord's other side and placed his fingers on his temples, closing his eyes and focusing inwardly.

* * *

The voice had finally stopped, and the Doctor sat silently on the floor, his head buried and the images in his mind slowly getting blurred. He couldn't tell what he had been thinking about over the last few hours. He was just glad that he was finally at peace. He didn't want to face anything outside this white room, knowing well enough which memories would await him in the corners of his mind. Only here was he able to shut out the voice, the voice that reminded him of what he had done, how he had failed. No, sitting here was the best he could do.

Sub-consciously he knew that he should come out of it – knew that sitting there meant that he had given up. However, if he just stayed here, Rose would have to come to terms with the fact that he was lost, and maybe she would be able to accept it, return to her everyday life and be safe. That's what he wanted for her, to be safe. If it meant that he wouldn't be able to come out of his mind, then he would gladly accept it. He wasn't ready to bear another death on his conscience. So many had already died because of him.

Suddenly he felt a tingling sensation on the edge of his senses, and he cringed away from it. The wrongness of it was overwhelming. He breathed against it, trying to shut it out, but it was persistent, and when he began to explore its origin, he became aware of another being in his mind. This wasn't his imagination. The presence was real, and it was walking towards him.

He looked up, and his brown eyes met blue ones. His bewilderment at seeing Jack Harkness standing above him instantly changed into fear: fear for his friend. He sprung up and looked around. He was still in the white room, clearly in one of the far corners of his mind, and if Jack was here, that could mean only one thing.

"Are you out of your mind?" he snapped at the Captain.

"You could say that, Doctor," Jack replied with his usual smile. "Quite literally. . . ."

"You will be consumed!" he ignored the Captain's typical teasing. "I am not strong enough to protect you. Why would you do this?"

Jack walked over to him and gripped his shoulders. "Why would I do this? You thought you could program the TARDIS to come here in case of an emergency, and I would just accept you giving up on yourself? You should have thought about the risks before doing that, Doctor. There are people out there who need you, and I won't let you drift away without a fight."

The Time Lord gave him a snort. "People, who need me? Well, they would be better off without me. _You_ would be better off without me, Jack. So stop it. Save yourself while you still can."

"Why don't you let _them_ decide that, Doctor? Oh, yes, because you always know better, don't you? You are the one to decide what's best for Rose and me, and everyone around you. Push them away, and they are all the better because of it."

The Doctor's eyes widened. "How dare you?"

Jack shook him by his shoulders. "You, Doctor, gave me that right when you decided to come here. When you programmed the TARDIS with the emergency protocol, you knew that this could happen. If you wanted to be left in peace, trapped in your own mind, you wouldn't have come here of all places."

The Time Lord took a step back toward the wall. "That was before. . . ." he said, his voice defeated.

Jack followed him and placed his hand on his arm. "Before something calling itself the devil taunted you – before you thought Rose is going to die in a battle. I know," he swallowed, and the Doctor saw the understanding in the other man's eyes. "You defeated it, Doctor. But in the end, it came back, no," he shook his head, "it didn't come back. You let it come back even though it is long dead, even though you saved the people on that planet, even though you saved Rose. You let it come back to haunt you with your own memories and fears."

The Time Lord gave him a frown. "How do you know that?"

"Who would know how you feel if not me?" Jack replied with a sad smile. "Don't you think that what's haunting _you_ isn't haunting me as well? You can't imagine how many people I've lost over the last century and how often I thought that it wouldn't have happened if they had never met me. But they made their decisions, and it wasn't my place to question it. We just have to live with it, Doctor."

"How can I live with it?" the Time Lord cried out. "How can you tell me that I have to live with Rose's death or the death of my whole species?"

Jack gave him more space, apparently feeling his agitation, and the Doctor began to pace. "It's not only that I lost them, Jack. I _killed_ them. I knew what I was doing. I pulled the trigger and murdered them."

Jack looked at him without flinching. "So, why did you do it?"

The Doctor gave him a bewildered look. "It doesn't matter _why_ I did it."

"Oh, but it does. So tell me, Doctor, why did you kill your species? What, in the name of the universe, made you do it?"

The Time Lord buried his face in his hands. Then he looked up again, his eyes shimmering with despair. "The Time Lords were losing. There was only one option left for them, and it would have destroyed the whole universe. I couldn't let them do it."

The Captain crossed his arms over his chest, and once more, the Doctor was astonished that his friend seemed to be able to just listen. Even after this revelation, there wasn't any judgment in Jack's gaze, only a warm shimmer of compassion. "I'm sorry," he said softly, and the Doctor felt the honesty in his words.

The Time Lord shook his head in bewilderment. "Don't you understand? I killed them!"

Jack moved toward him, and he took another step back, trying to avoid the contact. However, Jack being Jack, didn't stop and took the Doctor into his arms, stroking his back. "I know," he whispered. "And it must have killed you to do it."

Not able to fight the Captain any longer, the Doctor gave in, burying his head into his friend's shoulder. The feeling of wrongness he always felt in the Captain's presence was replaced by the knowledge that the tingling on his senses was Jack Harkness, a constant point in his life, someone who would be here even if everyone else had gone. He inhaled deeply, trying to take in Jack's scent, and for the first time in many years, he felt at home. He was well aware of the fact that his feelings were amplified by the mental connection they had. He didn't shy away, though. He just wanted to take it in for one more moment before having to face reality again.

"You saved the universe," Jack began to murmur into his ear. "Think about it, Doc. If you hadn't made that sacrifice, none of us would be here. You chose to do the right thing even if it meant that you would be the last of your species. Every coin has two sides, and you really need to change your perspective."

He briefly struggled in the other man's embrace, trying to refuse the comfort. But Jack held him steadily. "I've got you, Doc," the Captain said softly. "And I will hold you. You can let go now."

Jack's words triggered long-buried grief within the Time Lord, the grief he had never allowed himself to feel before, and with a sob, he began to cry.

* * *

Rose felt the Doctor's hand tremble and gave Owen, who was looking at the Time Lord with narrowed eyes, a questioning glance. "Is he all right?" she asked, barely containing the fear she felt.

"His hearts are beating faster," Owen replied and leaned over the Doctor, placing his hand on the man's forehead. "He's sweating, but his temperature is within his normal range. Can you feel something from the TARDIS?"

Rose closed her eyes and tried to feel the ship's mood. "I can't really sense her," she said. "I'm not telepathic. But I know that she can make herself known in my mind. So, I am sure she would alert me if something were wrong."

Owen gave her a nod. "Well, we don't know what he is going through right now. Only the deepest buried emotions should be able to affect him like this. It will take Jack some time to get down to them, and I am sure that the Doctor’s symptoms are a sign of the agitation he is experiencing."

The medic walked over to the Captain, who was sitting motionless at the Time Lord's side, his eyes closed and his fingers firmly connected with the Doctor's forehead. He felt for his leader's temperature and gave Rose a satisfied nod. "He seems to be fine."

Rose squeezed the Doctor's hand and whispered, "Just let him help you. Don't be a stubborn idiot. We need you."

* * *

The Doctor's breakdown seemed to take forever, and Jack had shifted him down onto the floor, gathering him firmly in his arms, while the Time Lord was sobbing silently into his shoulder. He leaned against the wall and tried to regain his composure after everything he had learned about the Doctor's past. His heart went out for the Time Lord when he imagined how he must feel after suppressing all of this for such a long time.

After what felt like an eternity, the Time Lord seemed to have calmed down enough, and Jack sensed him slowly withdrawing. He looked into the other man's eyes, which were still full of pain. "I'm s. . ."

Jack held up his hand. "Do not apologize," he said firmly. "There is no need."

The Doctor swallowed, and his brown eyes shimmered with gratefulness. Then he shifted out of the Captain's arms and leaned against the wall, his exhaustion evident.

After another long moment of silence, Jack looked at him. "How did this happen?" he asked.

The Time Lord shrugged. "I don't know. My mind was playing tricks on me. Maybe the shock of losing the TARDIS. . ."

Jack's eyes widened. "What?"

"Didn't Rose tell you?" the Doctor asked, surprised. "We lost the TARDIS, and it was sheer luck that I got her back after the beast was defeated. We would have been stuck out there. . . Well, we would have died anyway. . . ." He inhaled sharply. "I was ready to sacrifice her, Jack."

The Captain knew that this was the core of his friend's guilt and decided to dig deeper. "How? I'm sure you had a reason."

The Doctor looked desperately toward him. "I didn't have another choice. To kill the beast, I had to destroy the planet and with it the gravity field. Rose was already safe in the rocket to leave, but she was drawn into the black hole when the gravity field collapsed. I found the TARDIS and was able to save her in the end. But I didn't know that when I did it."

"Well, that explains it then," Jack replied, and at the Doctor's questioning look, he explained, "Don't you see? Same situation. . . You had to sacrifice someone you love to save the universe. Again. . . No wonder your mind couldn't cope with the triggered memories."

The Time Lord's gaze shifted into the distance, and he seemed to process what Jack had said. Then he gave the Captain a nod. "You're right. That makes sense. And the beast had taunted Rose when it told her that she would die in battle. I brushed it off, but in the end, the fear that it could be true came back to me."

"Well, some wise man once told me not to dwell on prophecies. The future is always in motion and what the beast told you is only one of the possible outcomes," Jack said and placed his hand on the Doctor's arm.

The Time Lord chuckled quietly at this. "Some very wise man, I'd like to point out."

Jack was relieved that the Doctor seemed to have found his humor again and gave him a smile. "Are you ready to come back?" he asked softly. "Rose is distraught, you know."

The Doctor took a deep breath. "Yes, yes, I think I am. However. . ." He looked into Jack's eyes and shook his head. "I don't know how to pull you with me." He stood up and began to pace again. "Oh, you really shouldn't have done this. You made a connection without taking care of your own defenses. Why would you even do such a thing?"

Jack didn't move and gave the Doctor an amused smile. "You have to ask that? You really should be able to feel it without me pointing it out. After all, I am part of your mind right now."

The Doctor gave him a furious glance. "Yes, and that's the problem, isn't it? You've entwined your mind with mine. I can feel your devotion to me, but Jack, in this case, it will destroy you. You can't even die. Are you ready to spend the rest of your eternal life as an empty shell? Not long now and you will be part of me, not able to separate your own existence any longer."

Jack stood up and took the Doctor's hand, squeezing it in reassurance. "Doc, I would have done that in a heartbeat if it meant that you were back to your old self. But in this case, I didn't need to. The TARDIS is anchoring me. Reach out, and I am sure you're going to feel her."

The Doctor looked back at him with wide eyes. "How did you persuade her?" He closed his eyes, and Jack saw a smile crossing his face. "Oh, you're brilliant, Jack Harkness. I can't even begin to understand how you did that, but she is really here."

Jack walked over to him and placed his hands on his shoulders. He locked eyes with the Time Lord, and his face became serious. "Now, I know that the moment you come back into reality, you're going to cope as perfectly as you ever do. However, I want you to remember one thing. If you need a friend or a shoulder to cry on, please don't wait until you collapse. I will be there."

The Doctor swallowed thickly and gave the Captain a nod. "I promise." He seemed to contemplate something, his eyes narrowing. Then a smile lit up his face. "Oh, you will be surprised, my Captain," he said with a wink.

Jack was speechless for a moment, not able to voice his question, and the next instant, the Doctor was stepping out of the room, reaching out with his hand. "Come, it is time to face reality."

* * *

Owen Harper was getting worried. Not only did this take too long, but he also knew that in a few moments, Tosh and Suzie would be back for their shift, and he didn't expect their second in command to take the news that Jack had risked himself to save the Doctor well. The Medic really had hoped that Jack would have succeeded by now. He tried not to show his concern openly, knowing well enough how worried Rose already was.

Suddenly the monitor began to beep loudly, and Owen tried to figure out why it was doing it. The hearts of the Time Lord seemed to be in synch, and there was no sign of any danger. But at the next moment, Rose cried out in shock. "Owen, he squeezed my hand back. Look, his eyes!"

He looked toward the Doctor and saw his eyes open slowly. "Rose," the medic said, trying to remain calm. "You need to stay back. Give me a moment to check on him."

The Doctor's companion obeyed instantly, and Owen took the Time Lord's hand. A glance toward Jack told him that the connection wasn't broken yet. He felt for the pulse and nodded, satisfied. Then the brown eyes of the Doctor met his. "I need to tell her to pull him out," the Time Lord said, his voice still hoarse. Owen gave him a nod, understanding vaguely that this had to do with Jack being still anchored by the TARDIS.

The Time Lord closed his eyes, and a moment later, Jack gave a whimpering noise. "Look after him," the Doctor commanded, and Owen hurried to the other side, steadying the Captain, who was rubbing his face.

Rose rushed toward the Doctor, and a smile crossed her face. "You're back," she said with joy.

"I am," the Time Lord replied and cleared his throat. "You don't happen to have some water for me?" he asked with a smile, and Rose handed him a glass with a straw while pulling him up a bit. Then she steadied him into a sitting position with a pillow.

Jack groaned, and everyone looked at him. "Being pulled out of someone's mind without being prepared," the Doctor explained. "That's a killer. Do you have some painkillers in here?"

Owen gave him a nod, and Rose reached out for the medic's bag and another glass. Without looking up, Jack took the offered pill and drank the water greedily. After a few more moments, while Owen was hurriedly checking the Captain's pulse, Jack looked up, and at seeing the Doctor sitting in his bed, he smiled satisfied. "It worked," he said with awe in his voice.

"Oh yes," the Time Lord responded with a grin. "You, Captain Harkness, are even more stubborn than I am." Then his eyes softened, and he swallowed against the lump forming in his throat. "Thank you," he said and took Jack's hand in his. "You saved my life."

Jack chuckled. "I was just returning the favor, Doc," he replied with a wink, and then he looked toward his medic. "Owen, I think we should leave the Doctor and Rose for a moment. What about preparing a nice breakfast for all of us?"

Owen couldn't describe how grateful he was that their Captain seemed to have come out of this unscathed. He wasn't someone to show his emotions openly, but his eyes shimmered briefly with tears of relief. He gave Jack a nod and looked toward the Doctor, "Is there anything you want? I mean, you seem to be healthy enough, and you should know best what your body needs right now."

The Time Lord grinned broadly. "Bananas," he said and looked a bit confused when the others broke out into laughter.

* * *

After having had breakfast, Jack had sent Owen home. The medic had been on his toes for more than a day and was exhausted. Tosh and Suzie were covering the Hub, and the Doctor and Rose had returned to the TARDIS. Jack was sure that his friend would need some time to explain what had happened to Rose, and he slowly felt his own tiredness catching up with him. He was just thinking about going to bed when a knock on his office door drew him out of his thoughts.

He looked up and was surprised to see Suzie standing there. His second in command hadn't spoken a word with him since she had been informed by Owen what Jack had done. He knew that they had to work out the issues between them, but at the moment, he just felt too exhausted to do it. However, Suzie didn't look as if she would take no for an answer.

"Suzie," he said, his voice showing his exasperation.

She walked in and sat down across from him. "I see that you are exhausted, Jack," she began. "But we really need to settle this. Tosh and Owen are ready to accept your devotion to this Doctor without question. But I am your second in command, and you have to share with me why you would risk yourself for him."

He heaved a deep sigh. "I don't think I can," he replied quietly.

"Jack, you've been devoted to Torchwood for so long. I've never seen you question it. I can't believe that you would do this without having a valid reason." She leaned forward a bit, locking eyes with the Captain. "I've read the files. This man is dangerous. Every time he comes into the picture, he leaves death and destruction behind."

"It's not _him_ ," Jack responded, trying to hide his annoyance. "The death and destruction are always caused by his enemies. You should try to reread the files, having that in mind. If it weren't for him, none of us would be here. You haven't even met him properly yet."

"Queen Victoria met him, and the encounter made her found Torchwood. Do you really think she would have declared him an enemy of the crown if there hadn't been a reason?"

"Humans," they heard the Doctor's voice coming from the door, and both looked up in shock. "They tend to fight the things they don't understand. It's some sort of defense mechanism, and it usually works quite well." The Time Lord leaned in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. "It's not always bad. It helps you to be careful when faced with the unknown. However, you also can work through the prejudices, and your brain is amazing in adapting to new circumstances. Queen Victoria wasn't able to do that. I can understand it, mind you. She just had been chased by a werewolf, lost her men to an alien threat, and additionally, I was there dealing with it as if it were nothing new. Well, it was nothing new for me. However, sensitivity isn't one of my strengths as our dear Jack here should be able to confirm. . . "

"Doctor," the Captain interrupted him, his voice firm. "This is not the time for one of your rambles."

The Time Lord gave him a surprised look. Then he began to walk through the office, picking up the alien scanner Jack had used on him and examining it. "I wonder," he said and looked toward Suzie, "why someone who works for Torchwood would take what others say as valid enough to condemn another being. I mean, aren't you trained to question things? Would you be able to use something like this if you didn't?" He moved toward her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Look at me, Suzie Costello. You are right about one thing. It's dangerous to be with me. I hurt Jack more than you can imagine. I tend to hurt everyone who travels with me at one point. But there's one thing you have to believe. I am no threat to this planet. I never was, and I never will be. I love humans, and I love the Earth."

He looked toward Jack. "And you, Captain, you have to keep in mind that not all of my speeches are ramblings. Sometimes I really have to say something." With that, he placed the scanner into Suzie's hands and winked at her. "Think about it, and now let me talk to Jack alone. I owe him my life, and I'd really like to make up for it."

The Captain was astonished at how fast Suzie rushed out of his office after that. It wasn't like her to accept a dismissal like this. He raised his eyes brows at the Time Lord and was met with a shrug from the other man. "She is slightly telepathic. I just enforced my wish with a bit of mental persuasion. She's going to come around." He sat down on the chair Suzie had occupied and took the TARDIS coral into his hands, caressing it gently. "You really should try to grow it," he commented with a soft shimmer in his eyes.

"And how would I do that?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Oh, a bit of care, and it should do it on its own. The TARDIS loves you. It shouldn't be too difficult to make this piece of her comfortable enough to grow into a new TARDIS." He sighed at seeing the doubt in Jack's eyes. "She really loves you regardless of what you have become. She wouldn't have helped you otherwise. She had to go against her nature to do it."

"She did it because she loves you, Doctor," Jack tried to brush it off.

"Oh, yes," the Time Lord replied with a grin. "But at the same time, she really wanted to welcome you back. And don't you dare to play unaware of this, Jack. You were in my mind, connected with her. You know well enough what she felt."

The Captain didn't answer, having to admit that the Doctor was right. He had sensed the ship's devotion to him. There was no point in denying it.

"You should go to sleep," the Doctor said, his eyes full of concern. "You're exhausted, and it's no wonder! I still can't believe what you did. You must have known what a great risk you were taking."

Jack gave him a wan smile. "It was worth it."

"Was it?" the Time Lord said, his left eyebrow raising the slightest bit. "After everything I've done to you? You just walk into my mind, ignoring the fact that you could have been lost forever just to save someone who abandoned you and made you wait for over a century for him? I've always thought that I had a fair understanding of how the human mind works. Still, you, Jack, you really are something different."

The Captain chuckled. "Yeah, Doc, I've heard that before." He stood up and staggered slightly. In a moment, the Time Lord was at his side, steadying him.

"You really need to rest," the Doctor said with a stern voice and led him toward the ladder in the back of the office. "Come, I'll get you settled."

After they had made their way down, Jack was surprised that the Doctor stayed until he was comfortably tucked in. The Time Lord gently caressed his forehead, and his gratefulness for what Jack had done was evident in the warm shimmer of his eyes. "Sleep now, Captain. I am going to watch out for any alien threats in the meantime."

Contently, the Captain sank back into his pillow and drifted into a deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The Doctor had to admit that helping out at Torchwood was fun. He had finally finished with the storage room below, and all the alien tech was now sorted. He just wished Jack had employed someone to bring things in order around here. An archivist was what Torchwood really needed. He took a sip from the tea Rose had made and thought that an archivist who was also able to make a decent tea would be even more perfect as an addition to the team.

He had even managed to have a calm conversation with Suzie Costello, who had been grateful when he had volunteered to go out with her to bring a Weevil in. Now, Rose was sitting with Toshiko in front of the computer and seemed very interested in the tech specialist's programs. Owen Harper had returned to work a couple of hours ago, and the Doctor was sitting beside him, patiently enduring the medic's examination.

Owen looked up, and the Time Lord could tell that his results did surprise the medic. "Well, your body seems to have an unbelievable amount of healing energy. If I didn't know better, I'd say that nothing was ever wrong with you."

The Doctor gave him his brilliant smile. "Oh yes, part of being a Time Lord, you know. Superior healing skills and all that. Well, there's no reason for me to stay any longer then? Do I get medical clearance to take off and save the universe again?"

Owen gave him a scowl. "You wish," he replied. "I know that you won't listen to me, Doctor. But as your medic, I'd like you to stay a bit longer. I am a bit concerned about your general weight, and I think a few days of rest and decent food would do you an awful lot of good."

The Time Lord's face fell at that. "You're telling me that you want me to stay grounded just to get some sleep and eat properly?" he asked, his expression incredulous.

Owen gave him a nod. "Honestly, I think that you're neglecting your health. Well, I can't blame you, being equipped with these healing skills. However, your body won't thank you in the long run. A week on Earth to take a breath won't kill you, but it would do wonders for your general health."

Briefly, the Doctor considered snapping at the bold medic, but then he remembered what Rose had told him. Owen Harper had done everything in his power to help him, and he owed him as much gratitude as Jack. Well, he could do a lot more here before leaving, and Rose could use a break, too.

Before he was able to answer, though, he felt a mental nudge and sprung up. "We'll talk about this later," he said and rushed toward Jack's office, ignoring the incredulous glances from the others.

In an instant, he was down beside Jack's bed just in time to see him coming awake. The Captain stretched himself looking sleepily toward him, and he grabbed the chair opposite the bed to sit down next to him. "Slept well?" he asked, his face showing his joy at seeing his friend looking much better than a few hours before.

Jack gave him a surprised look. "Have you been here all the time?"

The Doctor chuckled. "Oh no, my Captain. I had so many things to do while you slept. But I wanted to be here when you woke up."

Jack's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "And you somehow managed to be here exactly _now_?"

The Doctor shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Well, let's say I have my ways of knowing things. How do you feel?"

"Much better," Jack responded, motioning into an upright position at the edge of the bed. "At least my headache seems to have settled."

The Time Lord looked at him with worry. "Jack, the human mind is delicate, and I'd really like you to get examined thoroughly by Owen. We don't know what long-term damage your bold move might have done."

Jack waved his hand in dismissal. "I'm fine," he said, but at seeing the concern in his friend's eyes, he added, "Oh okay, I'm going to do what you want. If it helps you to calm down. . . ."

The Doctor gave him a satisfied grin. "You must be starving," he said and hopped up. "Rose has prepared pancakes. I'm sure there's something left. Just come upstairs when you're ready."

With that, he climbed up the ladder, leaving a startled Captain behind.

* * *

Jack was a bit overwhelmed by the Doctor's constant babbling. It had resumed the moment the Captain had stepped into the kitchen, and after having had banana pancakes, the Time Lord had led him into the storage room, showing him his day's work. He was behaving like a child giving his mother a report and expecting to be scolded or commended. Jack's responses were short, and he had hoped that the Doctor would realize that he was once more rambling without end. However, the Time Lord kept on talking and talking.

There had been suggestions on how to improve Torchwood's work, ideas of what Toshiko could work on, and even a brief tale about the Doctor talking with Suzie. It seemed that his second in command was indeed coming around. Jack was trying to catch the essential glimpses in the constant flood of words, and his head began to spin. Then there was a brief pause, and he looked up questioningly. The Doctor was looking at him with worry.

"You haven't interrupted me once, Jack," the Time Lord commented flatly. When the Captain failed to react, he walked over to him and placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "You always interrupt me when I'm starting to babble. What's wrong?"

Jack shook his head. He hadn't wanted to worry the Doctor. "I don't know. Something isn't right. Maybe I really should go to Owen to get properly examined. My head spins, and I can't seem to concentrate."

Jack was surprised to see an almost embarrassed expression on the Time Lord's face and frowned. "You wouldn't happen to know what's wrong with me, would you, Doctor?"

"Weeellll," the Doctor replied, his eyes fixed on the floor. "I can guess. I mean, I'm fairly sure, given that I can feel your confusion quite clearly. Um. . ."

Now the Captain was worried. The Doctor was never speechless. It had only happened once before when the Time Lord had to tell him about the TARDIS rejecting his presence. Whatever this was, it was definitely not right. "What's happened? Did I do any permanent damage to myself?" he asked, barely containing the surge of fear.

The Doctor gave him a puzzled look. Then he shook his head, and a smile crossed his face. "No, no Jack, everything is fine. Well, I say fine. But it's for you to decide that. As far as I'm concerned, it's more than fine. I actually quite like it. I mean, you will have to get used to it, but it could really help. That's when you decide to accept it. If you don't. . . well, we can always try to. . . ."

"Doctor!" Jack exclaimed with exasperation. "You're not making any sense!"

The Time Lord cringed at his tone, and he was obviously chastised enough to look a bit guilty. Well, Jack didn't want to see any more guilt in the Doctor's eyes, not after what had happened to the Time Lord before. He ran a hand over his face and tried to regain his composure. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to startle you. Just tell me what this is all about, and I promise you to deal with it calmly."

The Doctor gave him a nod and took a deep breath as if to gather up enough courage to tell Jack the truth, and his gesture made the Captain even more uneasy. "When you made the connection with me, all your defenses were down. You instinctively tried to get to the part of my mind that was reaching out, which was my telepathic center. It's only natural that I tried to get some help as this was common among Time Lords. If one of us couldn't deal with his emotions independently, he would draw on his bonds to help him. Well. . . As there are no living Time Lords left. . . I wasn't able to get any help. My mind is trained to take what it gets, though. I mean, in a desperate situation where my life is at stake, it would reach out for any connection. . . ."

"Doctor," Jack said softly. "You're losing me there."

The Time Lord shook himself. "Yes, sorry. The moment my mind felt you reaching out for it, it entwined itself with you. The TARDIS was able to pull you out again, but she couldn't sever the connection completely."

Jack gave him a frown. "I'm not sure I understand. . . ."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. "You're not that slow on the uptake normally, Jack. . . ."

"Are you suggesting that we are still connected? That we have. . ."

The Doctor nodded enthusiastically. "That's it. We have formed a bond. It's not a strong bond, mind you. It would be much stronger if you were a Time Lord. But for a human, it's quite an achievement."

Jack inhaled sharply. "You're telling me that you can feel me inside your head?"

One more a nod and a broad grin. Then a frown. "Oh, I can't feel what you're thinking. No, you still have your privacy. I just feel strong emotions and your general condition. You shouldn't even be bothered by what you're going to feel from me when I'm not here. It's just that your mind is adjusting, and you need to get used to reading the things you feel. The headache and the confusion are certainly due to that. It should fade over the next few days."

Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had a bond with the Doctor? What would that mean? How was he meant to deal with this? He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "Sorry, Doc," he said, his voice strained. "Just give me a moment to process this. Would you mind leaving me alone for a bit?"

He immediately felt terrible when he saw the crestfallen expression on the Time Lord's face. The Doctor gave him a silent nod, and with a wan smile, he walked out of the storage room and left Jack to his thoughts.

* * *

Rose was beginning to worry. It had been almost an hour since the Doctor and Jack had disappeared into the storage room. The look that the Time Lord had given her before leading the Captain away had told her that he needed to talk to his friend alone. However, now that they were missing for such a long time, she couldn't help becoming restless.

She descended the stairs and carefully opened the door to the room where she suspected them of being and was surprised to find Jack sitting there alone. When he heard her, he looked up, and she saw that he seemed to be confused about something. She approached him and sat down on another chair. "What happened?" she asked and placed a hand on Jack's arm.

He shook his head. "I really don't know. . . ." He fixed a distant point with his eyes and then began to explain. "He was constantly babbling. Normally I am quite able to follow him but this time. . . He just seemed so agitated. Oh, the speed this man can talk. . . It made my head spin. When I asked him what was wrong with me, he suddenly told me that we have formed a telepathic connection while I was in his mind. I mean, a bond with the Doctor. . . How did he expect me to react?"

She gave him an incredulous look. "What do you mean, a bond?" She wasn't sure she had understood what he had tried to explain.

He ran a hand over his face. "Telepathic beings like the Doctor can connect on a psychic level. He can do it all the time. Normally he just pops in and gets the information he needs. You wouldn't even know it if he weren't a touch telepath. He places his fingers on your temples and enters your mind. When he withdraws, the sensation disappears. However, somehow when I was in his mind, he made a permanent connection. He can feel me all the time now. . . ."

Rose narrowed her eyes, trying to process this. Then she began to understand. "Oh, that's how he felt that you were waking earlier, and he told me to prepare some food even before he actually knew that you would be hungry. He can feel that?"

He gave her a nod. "Yes, he said that he can sense general emotions. Telepathic bonds differ greatly. If two telepathic beings connect, they can even talk to each other over such a connection. However, me being human, he can make out what I need or how I feel. It's. . ." His gaze became almost desperate. "It's a bit overwhelming. Oh god, Rose, I can feel him, too."

She tried to wrap that around her mind, and then she frowned. "Is that bad? I mean, is it bothering you?"

"It's just weird, and it makes my head ache. You know him. He is kind of intense. . . ."

She nodded, having a picture of the Doctor's carefully contained emotions in mind. To suddenly feel them must be more than intense and maybe just a bit too much for the Captain to bear. "Well, such a connection can be severed, can't it? I mean, if you can't deal with it, I am sure he is going to help."

He gave her a brief nod and seemed to think about this prospect. "Yeah, yeah, it can be severed. However, the mind is a delicate thing. You had to be really careful when breaking such a connection. But with the help of the TARDIS and his experience, he should be able to do it. . . ." He trailed off, and Rose saw his face falling a bit.

"Well, it's the Doctor we're talking about," she tried to reassure her friend. "He would do everything to help. You know that, Jack."

Suddenly his eyes widened as if a realization had hit him at this moment. Then he sprung up. "Rose, I am an idiot," he exclaimed. "I reacted badly to his revelation. Where is he?"

She was confused and stood up, following him out of the storage room. "We don't know. He didn't come back after he left with you." She saw that the Captain was becoming more agitated by the second. "What is it, Jack? Talk to me," she said, trying to stay calm.

He turned toward her and swallowed thickly. "I sent him away. Told him I had to think about this. He must think. . ." he ran a hand through his hair. "Oh Rose, he is so alone in this mind of his. He told me about it. . . Time Lords have telepathic connections with each other. But he lost that when his planet burned. Ever since then, he was craving something like this, and I just told him to leave."

She was taken aback by this news. How much did Jack know about their friend? The Doctor had never mentioned this to her before. Wasn't she his companion? The woman he shared everything with? She felt a spike of jealousy, but the next moment it disappeared. Why should he tell her something like that? He wouldn't, knowing well enough that she wouldn't be able to fill this void for him. She wasn't even able to connect with the TARDIS properly. It would have made their traveling awkward if he had told her about this.

"The TARDIS," she said and took Jack's hand. "I am sure he is there. You need to talk about this." She shoved her own feelings about this to the back of her mind, deciding that sorting things out between those two was the first thing to do right now.

* * *

The Doctor was sitting on the jump chair in the console room, trying to process what had happened. He hadn't done the best job in breaking the news to Jack. He should have known that the Captain would be too confused to accept what had happened straight away. Jack was a very private man like he was. Having a connection with someone else on a telepathic level must be a shock for him. He should have reassured him that it was possible to break the bond.

A wave of sadness rolled over him at the thought. He had been overwhelmed with joy when he had finally felt another being in his mind again, and knowing that it was permanent made it even more incredible. That it was Jack, the only being in the universe who seemed to be able to just accept him, had made him happy, knowing well enough that this bond would connect them as long as the Captain lived, which was a relatively long time, considering Jack's life span. However, he hadn't thought about what this would mean for his friend. While he had to deal with human emotions, which had become like second nature to him, Jack was confronted with the mind of a Time Lord. No, he couldn't leave the Captain to deal with this. The bond had to be severed for Jack's sake, and even if it was a delicate process, he knew that with the help of the TARDIS, they would succeed.

The ship sent him her disapproval at this, and he shook his head. "I know you wanted to help me. But we can't do that. Didn't we already burden him enough? I won't accept this gift at his expense." He knew that she would have been able to pull Jack out of his mind permanently. She hadn't done it. No one knew better than her how much he wished to have this feeling again, knowing that someone was there in the back of his mind. She also knew that he would have suffered much had she broken the already grown bond. Well, it would be even worse now. But she had meant well.

He heard a knock at the door, followed by Rose's voice. "Doctor, I know you are in there. Just let us in!"

He had overridden the possibility for someone to enter when he had fled into his ship. He just wanted to have some time to prepare himself for the inevitable breaking of the bond. A final probe toward the TARDIS told him that she was as ready as he was to do it, and he stood up, slowly walking over to the door and opening it.

His breath caught in his chest at seeing Rose and Jack standing in front of the TARDIS. A long time ago, these two had been the center of his world until they had been separated by the events on Satellite Five. For the last few hours, he had been sure that both of them were again a part of his life. The bond would have prevented the TARDIS from being hurt by Jack's wrongness because he would have been able to shield it from her. However, there was no point in dwelling on that now.

Rose rushed in while the Captain remained outside waiting for permission to enter. He gave him a nod. "It's safe," he reassured his friend. "I can protect her."

Jack slowly came in, and the Time Lord had to smile when he saw the Captain's hand touching the railing reverently. Never had he met a human being who was so in love with the TARDIS. He shook his head, shoving that thought away — time to do something about this bond.

He sprang toward the console with enthusiasm. "Now, I know that this was a bit much to take in, Jack," he began, and then he looked toward Rose. "I am sure he filled you in," he said and began tapping wildly on the buttons below the screen on the console. At Rose's nod, he continued, "I've already prepared everything. This should be dealt with swiftly. The TARDIS is going to sever the bond and," he looked up toward Jack with an apologetic shimmer in his eyes. "I'm sorry, but it will hurt a bit. However, as you're not a natural telepath, the pain should fade quickly enough." He didn't look up again while springing around to get everything ready.

"But," Rose interrupted him in his frantic preparations. "You are a natural telepath. Wouldn't it hurt you to break the bond?"

He stopped and locked eyes with her. "Yes, but it will fade. Anyway, there is not much choice, is there?"

Jack cleared his throat. "Do I get a say in this at all?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

The Doctor gave him a confused look. "I thought this is what you wanted? You didn't give me the impression that a bond with me is something you wished to have." He began moving around again. Time to finish this – he didn't think he could bear delaying it any longer.

"For someone who can sense my emotions, you're quite daft, Doctor," Jack said dryly. "What did you expect? You tell me that you have formed a bond with me. After having waited to meet you again for over a century, you pop in regularly. As if this wasn't confusing enough, you just gave me the news that we will be connected as long as I live on a level no human could possibly understand. I think it isn't too much to ask for a few hours to process the implications of this. And now? You've already made up your mind and jump to conclusions." The Captain walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let me guess, the severing of this bond would cause you more than a little pain. Am I right?"

The Doctor fought against the flicker of hope he felt at Jack's proximity. He couldn't allow it to cloud his judgment. He replied, "Nah, Jack, you know me,” with a dismissal wave of his hand. “It's not the first time I have to break a telepathic connection. The TARDIS is going to help me."

Jack shook his head, his eyes wide. "No, it's not the first time. . . And doing this will trigger all the emotions of losing the bonds with your family and friends. I won't have that."

The Time Lord cringed a bit, then he straightened himself. "You don't need to sacrifice yourself to protect me, Jack. You've already saved my life once today. There is no need for you to deal with this just to save me from a bit of pain. No, you've made it quite clear that this isn't what you want. Just let me take it away, and we can return to being the friends we were."

Rose had grown silent, and her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. It made the Doctor sad to see it, and he gave her a reassuring smile. "It really isn't that big a deal, Rose," he said and moved Jack to the jump seat. "Just sit down and close your eyes. It will be over in a moment."

Jack struggled against his grip and freed himself. "No," he exclaimed. "I know this is difficult for you, Doctor, but now you're going to listen to me. I never said that I didn't want this. I just asked for a moment to get used to a concept that is new to me. You walk around the universe and tell people what to do. And you're usually right. I would follow you without question in almost everything. I even followed you to the year 200.100, not questioning once what you were about to do with that delta wave. I never needed to. You were the man who changed my life for the better, and I would have gladly died for you. In fact, I did. But I won't let you rummage around my mind and destroy something I can't even get to know properly." He took a deep breath and calmed himself down. "I can't help noticing that you've closed your side of the bond, which explains your cluelessness. Now, why don't you open it and try to feel what I _want_ rather than assuming anything?"

Rose had moved to the Doctor's side and took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently. The gesture brought him down from his nervous frenzy almost instantly, and he looked at Jack with wide eyes. "Do it, Doctor," Rose encouraged him, and he slowly placed his fingers on the Captain's temples opening his mind.

A rush of feelings waved over him, and he tried to sort them out. There was a deep confusion about what had happened, a tad of fear mixed with anticipation and a slight bit of awe. But the dominant sentiment was an eagerness to welcome the Time Lord in his mind. It spread into the Doctor's telepathic center, shoving away all the anxiety in his consciousness. The acceptance in it made the Doctor's breath hitch, and with wide eyes, he took a step back. Rose's hand steadied him not to stumble, and with astonishment, he looked at the silent Captain, who had his eyes closed, a slight smile crossing his lips.

The Doctor began to channel his own feelings, knowing that the impact of all the emotions in his head would overwhelm Jack. The Captain staggered a bit when he was met with the Time Lord's clear expression of joy, but a moment later, his face lit up in a broad grin, and the Doctor knew that his message had been received. They locked eyes with each other, briefly indulging in the warm feeling of the bond.

"Blimey," Rose shook them out of their trance. "You two must be the most stubborn men I've ever met. . . ." she said with a satisfied smile, and both men couldn't help but chuckle at that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

After a few days, Owen began to wonder if it had been a good idea to tell the Doctor that he should take a break. He hadn't expected the man to interfere in Torchwood affairs the way he did. Sorting out alien tech and helping Tosh with her software was one thing, but the last two days, the medic had observed the alien arguing repeatedly with Jack, mainly about how things needed to be done in his opinion. If Owen had known what a nuisance the Time Lord would become, he wouldn't have suggested him staying here in the first place.

He began to like Rose, though. The girl was both intelligent and attractive, and she had a fantastic ability to sort out the two men, who were always fighting for supremacy. The moment she entered the room, they would stop arguing and it was obvious that she was the center of the Time Lord's universe and very dear to their Captain. It bothered Owen that Jack hadn't explained why their relationship was so special, but they were used to Jack being secretive, so he just decided to accept it for the moment.

The Doctor and Jack certainly had a lot to sort out with each other, though, because every day in the afternoon, they would disappear into the TARDIS doing who knew what. These few hours were Owen's favorites because Rose stayed above in the Hub during this time, and he had the time and possibility to talk to her. She had a bunch of stories to tell, about distant planets, alien species and great adventures. Her knowledge would be an excellent asset for Torchwood, and Owen told her that on one occasion, saying that she could come and work with them when she decided she had enough of traveling around in a blue box.

She laughed at his suggestion, and with a shake of her head, she replied, "Owen, I will never leave the Doctor. He needs me, and I just love traveling around with him. No, nothing could keep me away from that blue box."

He frowned at that. "So, are you two. . . ."

Her eyes became distant, and he wondered what she was thinking. Then she said, "No, not in that way. He surely likes me, maybe it's something like love. But he never acts on it."

He was surprised to hear that. The two of them were so intimate with each other, and he would have sworn that companion was just another word for lover. "You tell me that he's never even tried? I mean, you're traveling together in that ship. Mind you, it's bigger on the inside, but it's intimate enough. And he never made a move?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Well, I am not surprised that this comes as a shock to you. But no, he never tried something like that. We're just friends, you know."

Owen saw the sadness in her eyes and realized that she wouldn't mind if the Doctor was inclined to change that. "I wonder if that is some sort of alien thing," he commented thoughtfully. "I mean, look at you, you're dead gorgeous. No man in his right mind could live with you in that box without noticing it."

She began to giggle at that, and he was glad to hear it. He really didn't want to see her sad. Maybe after the Doctor had left, he would be able to ask Jack about Time Lords and their sexual habits. If anyone knew, it should definitely be Jack Harkness. At the moment, he just liked the idea that he would have no rival in wooing the blonde girl in front of him.

* * *

It was their third afternoon in the TARDIS, and Jack began to like the few hours he and the Doctor spent alone in it to get Jack used to the now existing bond. The Doctor was blocking it most of the time, but it was open when they were here, and the Captain began to realize what an amazing thing had happened to them. In the last few days, he came to know the Time Lord better than anyone. Not even Rose had been able to dig that deep. Due to the bond, the Doctor wasn't able to hide his emotions, and for the first time since Jack had met him, the extent of the pain and loss the man had suffered in his life became apparent to him. He had already expected that the Time War had left an open wound in the Time Lord's hearts, but there was so much more. It made the Captain sad, but on the other hand, it gave him hope. Hope that even after 900 years of life with all the losses that came with it, one could be enthusiastic about exploring new worlds and things as the Doctor was. This bond was not only helping the Time Lord but also the immortal.

"Your shields are weakened," the Doctor threw him out of his thoughts. "You really have to focus, Jack. I won't be here all the time, and I won't have the power to control the bond on my own. I am going to need you for this. Imagine my emotions bleeding through while you have to deal with a nasty alien."

Jack gave him a snort. "It's a pity we can't talk through it then, considering how often I've wondered how easier things would be if I could just ask you for your opinion."

The Doctor gave him a smile. "Oh, Captain, imagine that – the both of us arguing over the bond while aliens conquer the world. . . No, I don't think that would work."

"Perhaps we wouldn't argue that often if you were more present while we're trying to make things work here," Jack replied in a teasing tone, knowing fully well how much the Time Lord loathed the thought of being domestic.

"I don't think so, Jack," the Doctor commented dryly. "You're a born leader, and it wouldn't do for me to interfere with you in the long run. And considering how you handled things up to this point, I don't think you need a know-it-all Time Lord in your head, telling you what to do."

Jack's face lit up at the unexpected compliment. The last few days had been difficult for him, with the Doctor constantly criticizing how they ran things here. However, at this moment, he realized that the Time Lord wasn't disapproving in general but was just trying to help them get better at what they were doing.

"Now," the Doctor said in a soft tone. "I'm going to leave the bond open, but remain unaware of your presence. It would be like that if we were to meet coincidentally. I want you to try to reach out to alert me of your presence. Just try to make it gently though. . . ."

Jack knew that the Time Lord had left the TARDIS with a massive headache in the last few days due to him shouting too much over the bond. He wasn't quite able to control the flow of his own thoughts, and for a telepathic being like the Doctor, it had to be a strain to endure the time it took him to get a grip on it. The Captain began to focus on the bond, tentatively reaching out. However, after a few moments, he felt the pull of the connection and couldn't help but rush further, causing the Doctor to wince. "Sorry," he said, his voice strained from the effort to hold back.

The Time Lord gave him a wan smile, barely able to contain his features because of the pain. "It just takes time, Jack," he tried to reassure the Captain. "You're going to get the hang of it someday. For today this should be enough. Just try to resist the pull a bit longer until I can let you in without you breaking down my shields."

Jack gave him a nod, feeling bad that he had once more caused the Time Lord to finish their session with a headache. Both left the TARDIS, and Jack sent her a loving thought when he closed the door behind him. The Doctor was giving him a fond look at that. "You know, I am tempted to be a little bit jealous," he said with a wink.

The Captain grinned broadly and returned the wink. "Jealous of her or me, Doc?"

With an exasperated sigh, the Time Lord turned away. "Let's just not go into that. . . ."

With a chuckle, Jack followed him upstairs, hoping that Owen had behaved. He had seen well enough that the medic was attracted to Rose, and it wouldn't do to add _that_ into the mix at the moment.

…

Two days later, the Doctor left with Jack to get a Weevil in, and Rose stayed behind with Tosh, while Owen and Suzie had been sent out to find another piece of alien tech that had come through the rift. Rose knew that their days here were numbered, and she was eager to return to traveling. At the same time, however, she had to admit that a few days of rest, being surrounded by familiar people, were doing them an awful lot of good. The Doctor was in an exceptionally light mood, and she loved having people around to talk to. For the first time, she began to understand what the Doctor had tried to give her when he had taken Mickey with them. As much as she loved the Time Lord, it was also challenging to travel with him without having other humans to share it with. The fact that she was very much in love with him and that he refused to act on it didn't make things easier. She liked being wooed by Owen as much as she enjoyed talking to Tosh and Suzie. The second in command had warmed to them during the last few days, and even if her initial suspicion toward the Doctor kept bleeding through sometimes, she had become friends with Rose at least.

Tosh was just explaining the rift movement to her when the door to the Hub opened, and the Doctor and Jack made their entrance, both laughing and giggling. The women looked up from the monitor, and Tosh shook her head. "What have you done now?" she asked, her voice showing just the tiniest bit of exasperation.

Both men gave her a sheepish look, and Rose frowned. They were looking like two boys being caught in the act of playing a prank.

"There was no Weevil, Tosh," Jack said and couldn't suppress a giggle coming through again. "Well, maybe we were too late to actually catch it. But when we arrived on the scene, we found nothing other than a happy couple making out with each other."

Tosh raised her eyebrows. "And I gather you didn't just leave quietly, considering that you're both behaving like partners in crime."

The Doctor was looking upward, trying to convey an innocent expression while Jack turned toward him, a begging shimmer in his eyes. "Won't you help me out here, Doc?" he asked, his voice mockingly desperate.

Once more, a frown crossed Rose's face. The Doctor didn't seem to mind Jack's abbreviation of his name, which was quite odd. Usually, he would insist that everyone called him Doctor. They really had come far in their relationship in the last few days, and she couldn't help being a little bit jealous of the Captain. How much would she enjoy having such a connection with the Time Lord. . .

"Oh no, Jack," the Doctor responded, walking over to the women and glancing briefly onto the monitor like he always did when he could do so. "I told you it wasn't a Weevil from the start. You could have listened. . . ." he turned toward Rose and shook his head in exasperation. "Why doesn't anyone ever listen?"

"What did you do?" Toshiko asked with a stern voice.

"Weeelll," the Time Lord replied, and a bright smile crossed his face. "Jack wasn't able to see well enough. So when we came to find the pair of them locked into a tight embrace, he thought the man was a Weevil attacking the woman. Needless to say that he barged in and used the narcotic without listening to my protests."

Now Rose couldn't help but join in their giggles while Tosh shook her head. "You attacked a human? Well, it's good that the narcotic doesn't harm them then. . . But this will be a hell of a lot to sort out. . ."

Jack's face was severe now while the Doctor was still grinning. "No, we won't need any retcon, Tosh. The Doctor got this one covered. It's just that things went a bit down after the woman realized that their rendezvous had been rudely interrupted. She didn't take it too well."

The Doctor gave an amused snort at that. "To be precise, she slapped the hell out of Jack."

Now Tosh and Rose had to laugh out loud at the Captain's sinister look to the Time Lord.

When their laughter died down, Tosh raised an eyebrow. "Wait a moment, what do you mean, the Doctor sorted this one out?"

"Oh, just a tiny bit of mental persuasion to convince them that nothing had happened," the Time Lord replied with an amused voice. "So much subtler than your drugs, I might add."

"Yeah," Jack commented dryly. "Only we normal humans aren't that well equipped with telepathic abilities as the almighty Time Lords. . . ."

Before a new round of banter could begin, the door opened again, and Owen and Suzie came in. All of them looked toward them expectantly. Rose spotted immediately that they had been more successful than the Doctor and Jack because Suzie was carrying a canister which had been empty when they had left and now showed something metallic inside. With a smile, she saw the Doctor's eyes lit up at seeing another piece of alien tech to tinker with.

However, when Suzie approached them, and the form of the thing became visible, he took a step backward, his eyes wide. At the same moment, Jack shot him a look of concern and rushed over to him. The light mood disappeared instantly, and all of them were looking at the pair with curiosity when the Doctor backed further away, and Jack followed him slowly. Something was wrong, and Rose was barely able to hold herself back. However, she knew that Jack would have more insight into what had shocked the Doctor that profoundly.

The Captain had caught up with the Time Lord now and placed his hand soothingly on his shoulder. "Doc," he said quietly. "It's all right. You're in the Torchwood Hub. It's safe." Then he turned around and nodded toward the canister. "Get this thing into the secure archives, now!" His command was urgent, and Suzie didn't hesitate to obey while Rose approached Jack and the Doctor, trying to find out what was happening.

The Time Lord's face was pale, and his eyes were open wide, his body trembled, and Jack was now gathering him in his arms. "It's gone, Doc. You can snap out of it. Everything is fine."

* * *

He felt it before he saw it. An overwhelming sense of wrongness was threatening to swallow him whole. There it was: a metal glove in the canister Suzie Costello was carrying. The energy emanating from it was vaguely familiar. He had to get out of here. All of his senses were screaming at him to run as fast as he could.

Then he felt a tingling at the edge of his consciousness. Not the typically rushed entrance he had become used to during the last few days but a tentative entry, trying to calm him down, sending him reassuring thoughts. This must be Jack. . . .

"Doc, it's all right. You're in the Torchwood Hub. It's safe."

It couldn't be, could it? How could anything be safe with this threatening energy floating around? No, he had to get out fast. . . .

"It's gone, Doc. You can snap out of it. Everything is fine."

Jack was right. Suddenly he was able to breathe. The wave of wrongness had disappeared. He inhaled sharply, trying to get air into his lungs and calm himself down. The presence of Jack in his mind was helping him, slowly pulling him out of his shock.

He became aware of his surroundings again. The Torchwood team was looking at him in shock, and Jack was standing at his side, his hand firmly placed on the Doctor's shoulder, trying to strengthen their connection. He turned a bit and saw Rose standing on his other side, her eyes full of panic at his reaction. _'Oh, Rose,'_ he thought. _'I'm sorry. . .'_

"I'm all right," he said quietly. He wanted to say more but couldn't bring himself to do it. The Captain led him over to the couch and firmly placed him down on it. "Bring the Doctor a cup of tea," he said to Toshiko, and the Asian woman hurried to comply.

The Time Lord still wasn't able to speak, and with gratitude, he felt Rose sitting down at his side, placing her arm around him. "What happened?" she asked, her voice shaking a bit.

Jack crouched down in front of him and shook his head. "He's still in shock, Rose. Give him a moment."

The Doctor was trying to form words, but he just gave his companion a silent nod at Jack's understanding comment. He shouldn't be that affected by a mere glove. He didn't even understand why he was reacting like he did. A cup of tea was placed into his hands, and slowly he took a sip, feeling his brain coming back to life again. After having emptied the whole cup, he gave it back to Jack, took a deep breath, and asked, "Where is it?"

"We've locked it away," the Captain replied, placing his hand on the Time Lord's knee in a reassuring gesture. "What was it? Did you recognize it?"

The Doctor shook his head. "No, I can't tell you where it came from or what it does. But one thing is for sure, you should leave it alone. Its energy was kind of . . . I don't know just wrong. . ."

He saw Jack's slight flinch at his choice of words and cursed himself for having used the same expression that he had used to describe the Captain once. However, in the end, he had to admit that the energy had felt a bit like Jack had felt on Satellite Five right after Rose had brought him back to life.

"Wrong?" Rose stepped in, "What does that mean?"

Jack heaved a sigh. "He means that this thing somehow triggered his Time Lord senses in a wrong way. It must do something unnatural, so unnatural that his instincts told him to run away from it. That's what you wanted to do, Doc, isn't it? You were ready to bolt. I felt that."

Rose swallowed against the lump forming in her throat as she began to realize why Jack's explanation had a sarcastic undertone in it. "Oh. . ." she voiced in understanding, and a glance from the Doctor prevented her from saying more. She knew that Jack's team wasn't aware of his immortality, and she wouldn't be the one to give his secret away.

"Promise me, you won't use it, Jack," the Time Lord said with a firm voice. "Just leave it be." He looked toward the others, who were still watching from a safe distance. "All of you promise me to not examine it. It is dangerous, and it shouldn't even be here."

Owen and Suzie gave a reluctant nod when they realized that their Captain wouldn't argue with the Doctor this time, and Toshiko just looked back with wide eyes, apparently too scared to even think about using the glove.

Jack stood up and turned around, his posture back to command. "You heard the Doctor. This glove is to be kept in the secure archives indefinitely. I don't want to see anyone tinkering with it. I am going to place a suitable warning on it to prevent others from using it."

Suzie cleared her throat. "Um, we have to report it to Torchwood London, though. What if they want to have it?"

The Doctor blanched, and a shudder went through him. "Jack," he said, trying to remain calm. "You can't trust them with this."

The Captain gave him a nod. "I know, and I won't. We won't report it. I know Yvonne Hartmann well enough. She wouldn't just leave it, and we couldn't tell them that the Doctor advised us to keep it locked up. No, Suzie, this stays in Torchwood Cardiff."

The second in command apparently wasn't happy about the deception, and the Doctor couldn't blame her. His presence here was bad enough for her, and now their leader had once more overruled Torchwood rules in favor of the advice of an unknown Time Lord whom they should have reported to London a long time ago. What astonished him about this wasn't Suzie's reluctance to trust him but Jack's apparent loyalty toward him. He really didn't deserve the devotion of this man.

* * *

"Owen, just make it an early evening! "

The others had already gone home after a heated discussion between Suzie and Jack about the glove and the Captain's decision. The Doctor had left them hours ago to tinker with his ship, and Jack was sure the Time Lord had fled the scene, not wanting to answer any more questions. Jack just longed for a bit of quiet after this day, so he wanted the medic to leave, too.

Owen gave him a nod and began packing his things. Then as if a sudden realization had hit him, he turned toward Rose. "Why don't you come with me, and we grab a bite?" he asked, his best flirtatious smile in place.

Jack, who had retreated into his office, looked back, curious how the Doctor's companion would react.

She seemed to contemplate the offer briefly, then she shook her head. "I don't know, Owen. . . ."

The medic shrugged. "It's not a date, Rose," he tried to reassure her. "It's just that you've been cooped up in here for more than a week. I thought a change of scenery would do you some good."

She smiled. "I know, Owen. But I don't want to leave just now. After everything that happened today, the Doctor might need me."

He gave her a nod. "Okay, but if you change your mind, just let me know." Without pushing the subject, he finished packing his things, and a few moments later, Jack and Rose found themselves alone in the hub.

"He's right, you know," Jack said, and Rose turned toward him with a questioning glance. "You really should go out. You haven't left the hub except when chasing after a Weevil or some other alien things out there. You really should get some fun while you still can."

She sank down on Owen's chair. "I don't want to get his hopes up, Jack," she replied, and Jack frowned when he saw the sad shimmer in her eyes. He had been so caught up with the Doctor and their bond that he hadn't realized that Rose was apparently struggling with something. Time to remedy that.

He went to the couch and waved her to join him. She gave him a wan smile and came over. Gently he placed his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned toward him with a contented sigh. "He's quite smitten with you," Jack said with a broad smile. "I've never seen him being so. . . cautious in his approach."

She gave him a short laugh. "Yeah, he seems to be serious." She heaved a sigh, and Jack knew that she wasn't thinking about Owen anymore. "I can't, though," she whispered, and he strengthened his grip on her, squeezing her gently.

"Rose," he began after a few minutes of silence. "Are you really prepared to wait for the Doctor any longer than you already have?"

She looked up at him, her eyes showing the depth of her feelings for the Time Lord. "What am I to do? I love him."

Jack swallowed against the lump in his throat at her desperate tone. "Yes, anyone can see that, but did he ever. . . ."

She shook her head. "Sometimes, I am sure that he loves me, too. The glances he gives me when he thinks I can't see it, the occasional hug, and his protective streak when it comes to me. . . Well, maybe he just likes me as his friend, his traveling companion. But he never. . ."

Jack knew that it wasn't his place to explain the Time Lord's need for a telepathic connection to have a relationship. His mind was racing, trying to come up with something to say. He was spared from answering, though, as she continued to talk.

"I mean, it's daft to even assume that he would be interested in me that way. But I can't help it. There are times when we are so close, and he looks at me as if I am something special. . ."

"Rose, you _are_ something special. He loves you as much as you love him. Everyone can see that. Maybe it's just not in his nature. . . I mean, we don't know much about Time Lords and . . . um . . . you know. . ." He cursed himself for not being able to really help her, and at seeing the tears glistening in her eyes, he decided that he would confront the Doctor with this as soon as the occasion presented itself.

"Well, if it is as simple as that," Rose said, her voice trembling. "He should explain it to me, you know, open up a bit. I wouldn't want him to change what he is. . . ."

"What would you do if he told you that what you desire with him just isn't possible?" Jack asked.

She gave him a wan smile. "At least I would know then. It wouldn't change how I feel, though."

"You mean, you are prepared to stay with him forever, even without having more with him?"

She gave him a look that told him everything he needed to know. She didn't even think about the possibility that one day she would want more of her life than what she actually had. She had made her decision long ago, and she wouldn't leave the Doctor just because he wasn't able to give her what she needed. Jack swallowed thickly, thinking about everything he had learned from the Brigadier regarding the Doctor's former companions. One day the Doctor would leave her behind because one thing was sure, this man didn't like endings. Jack couldn't stand by and watch without having even tried to prepare her for this.

"Rose, listen," he began and took her hand in his. "I know you love him, and I know you love this life. But please think about what you're giving up. Don't you want to have a relationship someday? I mean, a real one with everything the term entails? Don't you want to have a family? Do you really think you can travel with him for the rest of your life? What if he decides to leave you behind one day?"

"He won't," she said, her voice firm. "He told me that he won't do it, and I trust him."

His gaze shifted away from her. He really wasn't able to show her his doubts about it. However, given his own experience with the Time Lord, he couldn't hide it either. He was convinced that the Doctor wasn't planning on separating from Rose anytime soon, but who could tell what the future had in store for them?

She seemed to sense his hesitation to say something about it, and in an attempt to lighten the mood, she said, "Besides, I have a family. I'll always have my Mum. I don't need anything else."

Somehow Jack didn't believe her. He had come to know Rose quite well during their time traveling together, and he knew that deep in her heart, she needed the stability of a family. The Doctor would never give her that, and it fell to Jack to convince the Time Lord that he needed to be honest with her in this.

* * *

It was late at night when Jack and the Doctor finally found the time to retreat into the TARDIS. Rose had fallen asleep on the couch in the hub after the Doctor had joined his friends, having sensed that everyone else had left. They had ordered pizza, and the enjoyable evening with them had lightened the Doctor's mood considerably. However, it was time to move on now that everything was sorted out here.

Jack was looking around with a wistful gaze and the Time Lord knew that his friend had already guessed that he would leave. Before he was able to address the issue, though, the Captain looked up and said, "So, time to get back saving the universe then. . . ."

The Doctor couldn't quite place his own feelings about it. He was eager to return to traveling, but at the same time, he loathed the thought of being separated from his friend. They had become quite close, and he already knew that he would miss the bond terribly. But wasn't this the reason why he had to leave, actually? The reason why he didn't ask Jack to come with them? In fact, the TARDIS was welcoming the Captain's presence now more than ever. Due to the bond, she didn't recognize him as a threat any longer. But this time, it was _he_ who refused to even contemplate taking Jack with him. He couldn't afford such an attachment. Being in Jack's presence every day would further strengthen the bond, and he didn't want that. As much as he liked having such a connection – because it finally helped against the void in his mind – he also feared the close relationship that came with it.

"Doc?" the Captain asked, concern filling his voice at the lack of response.

The Time Lord shook himself out of his thoughts. "Yes, um, sorry. . . Yes, you know that it's time for me to get back into the TARDIS."

"Yeah, I know, traveling around saving worlds, last of the Time Lords. . . ." Jack couldn't hide the sadness in his eyes, and the Doctor had to admit that he felt the same.

"Well, at least you'll know I come back this time," he said with a faint smile.

"I knew that before," Jack replied, and his hand gently stroked over the console.

"But with this bond, it's not only a question of what I want but also of what I need."

Jack looked up with curiosity. "I don't understand."

"Weeellll, having made such a connection, my mind is going to crave it. The bond needs feeding, and I won't be able to stay away from you for an extended period. Mind you, it's not as strong as a Gallifreyan bond would be, but both of us are going to miss each other, and the bond will work to remedy that. Sometimes I think it's too much of a burden for you. You shouldn't have to deal with these things. . ."

Jack walked over to him and took his hand, squeezing it in reassurance. "I decided to keep it, remember? And I think the positive aspects of this outweigh the negative by far. You've always been important to me, bond or no bond. Having you constantly in my life is good for the both of us, don't you see? Our life-spans leave us alone often enough. It's good that we have this connection to help us."

The Doctor smiled brightly at the Captain's words. Oh, Jack always had a knack for saying the right thing.

Then Jack looked at him with a severe expression. "Speaking of life-spans. We really need to talk about Rose, Doc."

Rose? What did they have to talk about Rose? He gave Jack a nod, indicating him to continue.

"You really should tell her that you won't take your relationship further," Jack began, and the Doctor could feel insecurity in his friend's voice, which was quite a surprise considering how self-assured the Captain was usually acting. "I know that it's none of my business, and maybe I am overstepping my boundaries here. But I don't want her to get her hopes up. She loves you, you know, and it isn't fair to let her believe there could be more. . . ."

The Doctor couldn't fight the sudden annoyance at Jack approaching this with him. Who did the Captain think he was? No, this really wasn't his concern, and he was very much overstepping it here. . . .

"Please, Doc," Jack insisted. "Think about it. She can't know that you won't be able to have an intimate relationship with her. You never told her that. She should know. . . ."

The Doctor sank back into the jump seat, his annoyance slowly faded when he got a glimpse of Jack's feelings about this over the bond. There was fear that the Time Lord would unleash his anger on him because he dared to address it, and there was an overwhelming sense of protectiveness toward Rose. Jack was trying to help her here, and the Doctor had to admit that the Captain had a point. Hadn't he thought about this often enough? He couldn't deny that Rose was very much in love with him, as much as he was trying to do so every day. He didn't want to address it because as long as he refused to acknowledge that it was there, he could almost believe that nothing had changed between them. His own feelings had changed too over the last few months. He loved Rose just as much as she loved him, and he knew that she felt it. But as a human, she would want to become intimate one day, and he just wasn't able to give her that.

Jack crouched down in front of him and took both of his hands in his. "Doc?"

He took a deep breath, trying to form a reply but failing. How should he explain to Jack why he couldn't tell her? It would be the right thing to do, giving Rose the chance to get out before it was too late, but where would that leave him? He would be alone again. No, he wasn't able to imagine a life without Rose.

"Her knowing the truth doesn't necessarily mean you'll lose her, Doc," Jack said in a soft voice, and the Doctor's eyes widened at the Captain's insight. "You belong together. Everybody can see that. The Doctor and Rose Tyler in the TARDIS, as it should be. . ."

"The stuff of legends. . ." The Doctor whispered wistfully.

Jack gave him a smile. "Oh yes. However, as long as she doesn't know, she is going to wait for more. I don't think that it's fair to leave her wondering about what is possible and whatnot."

"It's just. . ." the Doctor began and then shook his head. "I don't think I can bear to lose her, Jack." His voice was trembling at the very thought of it. "I love her, and she is the one who keeps me going. She saved me. I don't know what to do without having her at my side."

"Yes," Jack said, taking him into a reassuring embrace. "I know, and that's what she feels. It feels like love to her, and she doesn't know that this is as far as you can go. You have to explain it to her."

Suddenly the Doctor jerked away from him and stood up. "Did she talk to you about this?" His tone was laced with panic. If she had talked about this with Jack, who else had she told about it?

Jack's eyebrows went up at the change in the Doctor's demeanor. "She did. . ."

"She did?" the Time Lord replied with wide eyes. "She just walks around and talks about this?"

Jack shook his head. "Doc! She's human. Naturally, she needs someone to confide in. I know that it's hard for you to understand it, but we cannot bury our feelings in a distant corner of our mind like you do. Besides," he gave the Doctor a grim glance. "She didn't just walk around and talked about this. She talked with _me_. You can't expect her to bottle these things up just because this is _your_ way of doing things."

The Time Lord sank back down onto the jump seat, contemplating what Jack had said. Wasn't this the reason he had taken Mickey with them? He knew well enough that the Captain was right. Humans hadn't the same coping mechanisms as Time Lords did. And their best way to sort out their feelings was to talk to each other. He just wasn't able to do that. He should be glad that Rose had opened up to Jack, and he should be grateful that his friend was calling him on it. But he wasn't. As much as he knew that Jack had a point, that he shouldn't let Rose believe that maybe there could be more, he just wasn't able to tell her the truth, not yet anyway. Indeed he would have to do it one day, maybe even soon. But for now, he couldn't even think about such a conversation and what might be the consequences. He wasn't ready to be alone again.

Due to the bond, Jack could sense what was going on in his head and gave him a resigned smile. "Just promise me to think about it. I don't want to see her heart broken one day because she gave up something without knowing what she was getting in return."

With this, the Captain walked out of the TARDIS, leaving the Doctor behind to think about it. It wasn't what the Doctor wanted to do, and suddenly he was glad he could go. Running didn't solve anything, but running with Rose was what held him together at the moment.

* * *

It was about six in the morning when Jack heard the TARDIS's unmistakable sound dematerializing in the storage room. He wasn't surprised that the Doctor would leave without another word after their conversation before. On his way back, the Captain had found Rose awake, and as he had already expected the Doctor to run, he had hugged her firmly, and they had said their good-byes. He felt terrible about his team, knowing that all of them would have wanted to see the Doctor go, but he knew the Time Lord well enough that all of this was becoming a bit too domestic for him. Jack chuckled at the thought. There was nothing less domestic than Torchwood in human standards, but he had learned enough about the Time Lord by now to know that being together with the same people in one place for such a long time made the Doctor practically choke.

He focused on the bond in his mind, already feeling it fading into the background a bit. He knew they couldn't communicate, but he sent the thought toward the Doctor anyway, "Good-bye, Doc. Until we see each other again."

He couldn't fight the feeling that the Time Lord had heard him and was responding with a wave of reassurance.


End file.
